Understandably, these buxom alien hotties meet with very little resistence from almost every man on campus. But our hero, (sexy dorm-dwelling freshman Corey Sevier), isn't just ANY man. You see, After sneaking into a sorority girl's dorm room to return some quarters, Sevier spies one of the alien tarts sprouting tentacles in front of her roomie - who's casually huffing away on liquid nitrogen (Don't ask). And so Sevier comes to the conclusion that these two are, in fact, not of this planet - though none of his friends wants to believe him. But after a pair of suspicious deaths, Sevier becomes convinced he's right. Armed with a flame-thrower, and a seemingly bottomless reservoir of horrendously bad Schwarzenneger-style one-liners, ("Belt of Orion?" screams our gas-torch wielding hero. "How about Belt of O'FRYIN'?" ), he begins investigating.
DECOYS isn't going to be included on anyone's list of the all-time greatest sci-fi horror flicks, but it definitely had us in stitches from start to finish. This is a film where a man hauled into the police station as the chief suspect for a string of murders will happily explain his crackpot theory about diabolical spacesluts, and never mention the fact that he has a rock solid alibi. It's the kind of film where the investigating detective (Richard Burgi in full ham mode) repeatedly - and inexplicably - refers to said suspect as "puppy". And it's the kind of film where the hero dresses up as a Ghostbuster, demands complete strangers show him their navels, and hurls boiling-hot water at them to prove they're not of this earth. (Quite frankly, the guy's clearly insane and should be locked up - whether he's correct or not!)