tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62451312794330166322024-03-05T16:02:32.000-05:00ISN'T IT DELICIOUS!A MESSAGE FROM YOUR HOSTESS -
Hello Kiddies -- Welcome to our fabulous cyberhome where we hope to entertain you with our delectable ramblings. Nothing too serious -- just whatever pops into our silly little head between laundry loads, dusting and a little vacuuming. Everything from the ridiculous to the sublime. So just sit yourself down in our gorgeously appointed living room and stay for a spell. But please remember to wipe your feet. (we just did the floors.) -- Air Kiss, HvRHelen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.comBlogger257125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-48454161323352670272016-03-21T09:56:00.000-04:002016-03-21T09:56:09.350-04:00There Are No Words . . .<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDmdhyJ2zOibhGFGip8nifwBrtdtGuWndrs9UAjihetB3msMj9FYul6Ku1btkDthWm88suqIbfO_o5b6HKel88MecmxRp4PET3Dx_IIsh6cJbGQuP9IK2bspaDjPJ2H4avqRY_EplKaVkk/s1600/1+TRUMP+tumblr_o49oxof7B01qz8lqto1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="509" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDmdhyJ2zOibhGFGip8nifwBrtdtGuWndrs9UAjihetB3msMj9FYul6Ku1btkDthWm88suqIbfO_o5b6HKel88MecmxRp4PET3Dx_IIsh6cJbGQuP9IK2bspaDjPJ2H4avqRY_EplKaVkk/s640/1+TRUMP+tumblr_o49oxof7B01qz8lqto1_1280.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-48482526666502527942015-12-23T21:30:00.000-05:002015-12-23T21:31:12.453-05:00On behalf of the entire van Rensselaer clan (including a very mischievous Mr. Tiddles) we wish all of you HAPPY HOLIDAYS!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheACDLCcszlOKeWbKGi6_vxmQr32RvYtWDjtpr-w3BffnbSA0TzcdoT3RftWlNDa4_jVgbYOiSDT7Pz_ZuWBcv_qoR6F2X200vtjvADdsG4DBARoQr6DetE6rqNqZD6YuWCqaj-FxiiX2W/s1600/HVR+Christmas+Tiddles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheACDLCcszlOKeWbKGi6_vxmQr32RvYtWDjtpr-w3BffnbSA0TzcdoT3RftWlNDa4_jVgbYOiSDT7Pz_ZuWBcv_qoR6F2X200vtjvADdsG4DBARoQr6DetE6rqNqZD6YuWCqaj-FxiiX2W/s400/HVR+Christmas+Tiddles.jpg" width="287" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNjqbG462T83LnTVOyOdje8XW4v03OGWDy9DK6h_RBv0P6yIMpyt4i7U124eeoBamTzxA9Yq99KYrDp1hrLnsxKvpwoYF6-DER98XEGubCUzeO8YPY-NQd511whKdXnroctWZC0v_sqg_I/s1600/HVR+christmas+bitch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNjqbG462T83LnTVOyOdje8XW4v03OGWDy9DK6h_RBv0P6yIMpyt4i7U124eeoBamTzxA9Yq99KYrDp1hrLnsxKvpwoYF6-DER98XEGubCUzeO8YPY-NQd511whKdXnroctWZC0v_sqg_I/s1600/HVR+christmas+bitch.jpg" /></a></div>
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-55178091398218626302015-07-15T13:54:00.001-04:002015-12-23T21:33:18.490-05:00For deliciously zany Christmas fun, pucker-up for 'THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT.'<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn_LIFvKR2IpU5hz6flOkpZDQ6eGUAu4gVtx6muWLx3yXB8-luDW_fJkaBemkhfimcZql-VoMcf8pQCsVkyTasxaNOtvaUJjP5idegpr9E-HnFHEbriZpwBwnNDk09Q9KURJleclktRlR8/s1600/BM+Long+Kiss+Goodnight+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="322" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn_LIFvKR2IpU5hz6flOkpZDQ6eGUAu4gVtx6muWLx3yXB8-luDW_fJkaBemkhfimcZql-VoMcf8pQCsVkyTasxaNOtvaUJjP5idegpr9E-HnFHEbriZpwBwnNDk09Q9KURJleclktRlR8/s640/BM+Long+Kiss+Goodnight+1.jpg" width="640" /></a>Delectably, deliriously, dementedly awful, <strong><span style="color: #cc0000;"></span></strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Long-Kiss-Goodnight-Geena-Davis/dp/0780618548?ie=UTF8&tag=itid04-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT </a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=itid04-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=0780618548" height="1" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important;" width="1" />is one of the very best Bad Movies of the '90s, no small accomplishment in a decade that also gave us <em>Barb Wire</em>, <em>Boxing Helena, Color of Night</em> and <em>Showgirls</em>.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXudx9sfY3VX2xJJXfbdSOKTEB441jmrO-N80nwqPXr3l3oA9by2kJIMeSmOqpXNujpuMcqcNH2mVyVa5wOVfzdM9Ry6fQKeEOElYNw_-Zu27cEMF7N4dAwM7Sm-KTtycVsdaOcoxV-G6E/s1600/BM+Long+Kiss+Goodnight+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXudx9sfY3VX2xJJXfbdSOKTEB441jmrO-N80nwqPXr3l3oA9by2kJIMeSmOqpXNujpuMcqcNH2mVyVa5wOVfzdM9Ry6fQKeEOElYNw_-Zu27cEMF7N4dAwM7Sm-KTtycVsdaOcoxV-G6E/s640/BM+Long+Kiss+Goodnight+4.jpg" width="640" /></a>The fun begins when <strong>Geena Davis</strong>, a demure, redheaded, schoolteaching single mother who suffers from amnesia and cannot recall having been the world's deadliest hired assassin eight years ago, collides with a reindeer. Voila. Davis begins to get hints of her previous vocation. In a dream sequence Sigmund Freud would have fired a patient for having, goody-two-shoes Davis stands atop a stormy cliff facing her sexy, bottle-blonde image in a mirror. "I want a cigarette," growls the tough-talkin' reflection, to which the nice Davis prissily replies, "I don't smoke." "Ya used to!" snaps the blonde. Director Renny Harlin chooses to cut from this all-too-revealing dream sequence to a dump truck picking up garbage (discuss meaning amongst yourselves).<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9TyReOKk2lqccyP4zR48iC31HjObKoTQiiMd5FI9iRoO-z2STeId8-rKkPiny-P9fEgnolxoX_6eoT6qlrPgLQhFmbmJgf4VcgCZp1JhFyTvPEBRzd3i2ZvOfDJMxTSj3KVob1KClIBC9/s1600/BM+Long+Kiss+Goodnight+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9TyReOKk2lqccyP4zR48iC31HjObKoTQiiMd5FI9iRoO-z2STeId8-rKkPiny-P9fEgnolxoX_6eoT6qlrPgLQhFmbmJgf4VcgCZp1JhFyTvPEBRzd3i2ZvOfDJMxTSj3KVob1KClIBC9/s640/BM+Long+Kiss+Goodnight+3.jpg" width="640" /></a>Soon Davis's dark side starts cropping up during waking hours. The mere chopping of a carrot turns into a dicin', slicin' display of aggression that is, frankly, reminiscent of one of those infomercials for sharp cutlery. Whipping through every vegetable in the kitchen, Davis beams maniacally, "I used to do this. I'm a chef!" Perhaps not. When she nails a tomato to the wall with a perfectly tossed knife, her daughter and boyfriend are justifiably terrified. "Chefs do that," explains Davis. But later, when she tells her kid, who's just fractured a wrist, "Life is pain! Get used to it!" there's no pretending Davis's previous life was benevolent. To make the point even clearer, a one-eyed thug who knew hit woman Davis way back when breaks into the house and hits Davis on the head with a heavy pot, whereupon she knocks him out cold with a cream pie in the kisser, then breaks his neck, and, as her boyfriend watches, tastes the pie filling off the corpse, explaining, "Chefs do that."<br />
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Determined to discover the truth about her past, Davis hits the road with "low rent" private eye <strong>Samuel L. Jackson</strong>. While Jackson watches the classic Robert Altman film <em>The Long Goodbye</em> in a motel room the next evening (two characters are discussing cats, allowing Jackson to utter the line, "Yeah -- pussy is pussy"), Davis looks in a mirror in her room and again sees the skanky blonde version of herself, who suddenly reaches out from the mirror to try to kill her. Alas, she doesn't succeed.</div>
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<iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=itid04-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0780618548&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe>All hell breaks loose when more bad guys from the past show up and try to extinguish Davis and Jackson. The attacks only serve to bring the amnesiac's deadly personality fully to the surface. Davis transforms the drab version of herself into a sleek blonde hit babe, who for some reason is wearing only a bathrobe and excessive eyeshadow. At the sight of a bloodstained arm bandage on Jackson, the new, true Davis suddenly opens her robe, flashes her bare bod at him, then rips off the bandage. "Same principle as deflowering virgins," she says. "I read it in this Harold Robbins book: guy bites her on the ear, distracts her from the pain. Ever try that?" "No," replies Jackson, "I sock 'em in the jaw and yell, 'Pop goes the Weasel!'" This spicy dialogue arouses Davis to pant in Jackson's ear, "I haven't had a date in eight years." Like the rest of us, Jackson isn't buying: "A beautiful white lady seducing the colored help? Get real, sweetheart. I ain't rich, I ain't handsome, and the last time I got blown, candy bars cost a nickel." Who says there's no longer a need for affirmative action?</div>
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The next day, a car full of killers chases Jackson, prompting Davis to strap on ice skates to outrace the speeding automobile and blast the villains. The mayhem reached a climax on Christmas Eve when Davis outwits her foes by (1) putting kerosene in a Betsy Wetsy-type doll, (2) taunting a knife-wielding killer with the line, "Oh honey, only four inches?" and, finally, (3) collapsing so that her daughter can reprise the innane line, "Life is pain! Get used to it!" At this point, you'll want to rewind to the scene that provided this movie with its place in Bad Moviedom. Yes, listen once again as Davis, driving an oil rig outfitted with a doomsday bomb, becomes the first (and, we'd bet, the last) action heroine to snarl at her opponents, "Suck my dick!"</div>
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-81829062913552871442015-07-13T02:06:00.000-04:002015-07-13T13:57:55.336-04:00a DELICIOUS return: David Letterman un-retires to deliver Top Ten List targeting "The Donald."<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9f191bfNScXTzj2vDmpJQgjOeUSHKq0oWYUKFgnF0_-1I6LdPskhsKMI5nvx3GhMQAPpLArEsW7IKAd6xsYkPt7u5DCl2g5-cWKpm_grQXBQcUo0j3-0kugnBdDKoozYyN4Mr_4CI3yU7/s1600/Donald+Trump+for+President+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9f191bfNScXTzj2vDmpJQgjOeUSHKq0oWYUKFgnF0_-1I6LdPskhsKMI5nvx3GhMQAPpLArEsW7IKAd6xsYkPt7u5DCl2g5-cWKpm_grQXBQcUo0j3-0kugnBdDKoozYyN4Mr_4CI3yU7/s400/Donald+Trump+for+President+1.jpg" width="310" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJaEeJnHWYvDLIZYKakEIOOKqoOKg8765ipxeT28_SDY2kWtpZqPwGKj6xUuguhVfvAWaD8ePaRPNHdkgFVzRteUxk6NSb8IlaGy4rwEbcwxmLxL9owUMhNDBEruCpKP2_yIAJIbyNuoim/s1600/Donald+Trump+for+President+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJaEeJnHWYvDLIZYKakEIOOKqoOKg8765ipxeT28_SDY2kWtpZqPwGKj6xUuguhVfvAWaD8ePaRPNHdkgFVzRteUxk6NSb8IlaGy4rwEbcwxmLxL9owUMhNDBEruCpKP2_yIAJIbyNuoim/s640/Donald+Trump+for+President+2.jpg" width="528" /></a><strong><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Some things are more important than retirement.</span></strong><br />
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David Letterman was called back into action this weekend with a brand-new Top Ten List inspired by the recent presidential candidacy of Donald Trump.<br />
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Although he's been content since retiring as host of "Late Show" in May, Letterman called missing out on lampooning Trump's White House bid "the biggest mistake of my life."<br />
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Appearing with his pals Martin Short and Steve Martin at their live comedy show Friday night in San Antonio, he made up for lost time:<br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">10. That thing on his head was the gopher in "Caddyshack."</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">9. During sex, Donald Trump calls out his own name.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">8. Donald Trump looks like the guy in the lifeboat with the women and children.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">7. He wants to build a wall? How about building a wall around that thing on his head!</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">6. Trump walked away from a moderately successful television show for a delusional, bull... Oh, no, wait, that's me.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">5. Donald Trump weighs 240 pounds — 250 with cologne.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">4. Trump would like all Americans to know that that thing on his head is free-range.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">3. (tie) If President, instead of pardoning a turkey on Thanksgiving, he plans to evict a family on Thanksgiving. AND: That's not a hairdo — it's a wind advisory.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">2. Donald Trump has pissed off so many Mexicans, he's starring in a new movie entitled, "NO Amigos" (a reference to the 1986 comedy, "Three Amigos," that starred Short and Martin).</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">1. Thanks to Donald Trump, the Republican mascot is also an ass.</span></strong><br />
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-1259490041817419862015-06-26T11:33:00.000-04:002015-06-26T12:08:09.965-04:00A delicious Landmark Victory: The Supreme Court Rules Same-Sex Marriage Legal Nationwide! <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm718g6NERf3hU2hnqsMCbdCE8XaEM_Yq_caUFZDpY5NVv2xrs8VmxpT0B5BJzhOT2DKCw6_DjQoaRp8CraxrYGvPgsYnSxYQFC_RkpuFXeJaiwWYLKY-MHE1AtzyoKGlUecU3lH6M77uu/s1600/Gay+Marriage+Victory.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm718g6NERf3hU2hnqsMCbdCE8XaEM_Yq_caUFZDpY5NVv2xrs8VmxpT0B5BJzhOT2DKCw6_DjQoaRp8CraxrYGvPgsYnSxYQFC_RkpuFXeJaiwWYLKY-MHE1AtzyoKGlUecU3lH6M77uu/s640/Gay+Marriage+Victory.jpg" width="467" /></a></div>
<a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/06/26/1396643/-Supreme-Court-Let-gay-wedding-bells-ring-from-sea-to-shining-sea?detail=email">http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/06/26/1396643/-Supreme-Court-Let-gay-wedding-bells-ring-from-sea-to-shining-sea?detail=email</a><br />
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The Supreme Court struck down marriage bans nationwide Friday in a 5-4 decision authored by Justice Anthony Kennedy, the fourth landmark ruling advancing LGBT rights he has written.<br />
In the decision, the justices affirmed that same-sex couples can indeed marry in every state in the union.<br />
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The case, <em>Obergefell v. Hodges</em>, centered on legal challenges on behalf of lesbian and gay individuals from four states in the Sixth Circuit who sought the same constitutional guarantees afforded to different-sex couples couples who unite their lives in marriage.<br />
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The decision follows public opinion, with <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/courts_law/poll-gay-marriage-support-at-record-high/2015/04/22/f6548332-e92a-11e4-aae1-d642717d8afa_story.html">several</a> recent <a href="http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2015/03/09/support-for-gay-marriage-hits-all-time-high-wsjnbc-news-poll/">polls</a> showing that about 60 percent of Americans support same-sex marriage rights.<br />
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<strong>(And naturally, FOX NEWS's coverage has got to be seen to be believed.)</strong><br />
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<span class="update"><a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/06/26/1396643/-Supreme-Court-Let-gay-wedding-bells-ring-from-sea-to-shining-sea#20150626070711" name="20150626070711"><b>7:07 AM PT</b></a>:</span> Here's the link to Kennedy's opinion: <a href="http://www.supremecourt.gov/...">http://www.supremecourt.gov/...</a><br />
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<span class="update"><a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/06/26/1396643/-Supreme-Court-Let-gay-wedding-bells-ring-from-sea-to-shining-sea#20150626071546" name="20150626071546"><b>7:15 AM PT</b></a>:</span> Tweet from President Obama: "Today is a big step in our march toward equality. Gay and lesbian couples now have the right to marry, just like anyone else. #LoveWins"<br />
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<span class="update"><a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/06/26/1396643/-Supreme-Court-Let-gay-wedding-bells-ring-from-sea-to-shining-sea#20150626071907" name="20150626071907"><b>7:19 AM PT</b></a>:</span> From the opinion: "These considerations lead to the conclusion that the right to marry is a fundamental right inherent in the liberty of the person, and under the Due Process and Equal Protection Clauses of the Fourteenth Amendment couples of the same-sex may not be deprived of that right and that liberty. The Court now holds that same-sex couples may exercise the fundamental right to marry."<br />
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<span class="update"><a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/06/26/1396643/-Supreme-Court-Let-gay-wedding-bells-ring-from-sea-to-shining-sea#20150626074227" name="20150626074227"><b> 7:42 AM PT</b></a>:</span> From the opinion: "No union is more profound than marriage, for it embod- ies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family... It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be con- demned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right."<br />
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<span class="update"><a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/06/26/1396643/-Supreme-Court-Let-gay-wedding-bells-ring-from-sea-to-shining-sea#20150626080551" name="20150626080551"><b> 8:05 AM PT</b></a>:</span> Plaintiff Jim Obergefell at the steps of the Supreme Court: "It's my hope that the term 'gay marriage' will soon be a thing of the past—that from this day forward, it will simply be called 'marriage.'"<br />
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<span class="update"><a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/06/26/1396643/-Supreme-Court-Let-gay-wedding-bells-ring-from-sea-to-shining-sea#20150626082640" name="20150626082640"><b> 8:26 AM PT</b></a>:</span> Obergefell also talks about the events in Charleston: "My heart is also in Charleston. These past few weeks and months have been an important reminder that discrimination in many forms is alive and well in America... [that] progress for some is not progress for all."<br />
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-2839588847511268952015-04-04T23:38:00.001-04:002015-04-04T23:40:23.529-04:00DELICIOUS Web Find: An Open Letter to Dr. Laura Schlesinger<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Something so delightful found at Naked Capitalism, that we just had to share it with you:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUJm2NqrFkFsxhqhmFjzWUrqJm4uKorkIaQIAQ0u6E7JoD2ACx5D7Kuo1Ll2yEQ8IPg8N7PlxsXdwjOmiLwLhJKAfh4-QsZiy4GQgFqIDXM9B3aZtrF4DD6YWkEaLJHeD9ux1EVnRdKoUU/s1600/Dr+Laura+Schlesinger+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUJm2NqrFkFsxhqhmFjzWUrqJm4uKorkIaQIAQ0u6E7JoD2ACx5D7Kuo1Ll2yEQ8IPg8N7PlxsXdwjOmiLwLhJKAfh4-QsZiy4GQgFqIDXM9B3aZtrF4DD6YWkEaLJHeD9ux1EVnRdKoUU/s1600/Dr+Laura+Schlesinger+1.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a><br />
In her radio show, Dr. Laura Schlesinger (a popular conservative radio talk show host in the USA) said that homosexuality is an abomination according to the Bible Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, and was attributed to a James M. Kauffman, Ed. D. <br />
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________________________________________________________________________________<br />
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<div class="article-body" id="body">
Dear Dr. Laura:<br />
<br />
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination… end of debate.<br />
<br />
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.<br />
<ol>
<li value="1"> Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?</li>
</ol>
<ol>
<li value="2"> I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?</li>
</ol>
<ol>
<li value="3"> I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual unseemliness – Lev. 15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.</li>
</ol>
<ol>
<li value="4"> When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev. 1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?</li>
</ol>
<ol>
<li value="5"> I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?</li>
</ol>
<ol>
<li value="6"> A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?</li>
</ol>
<ol>
<li value="7"> Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?</li>
</ol>
<ol>
<li value="8"> Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?</li>
</ol>
<ol>
<li value="9"> I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?</li>
</ol>
<ol>
<li value="10"> My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev. 24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)</li>
</ol>
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.<br />
<br />
Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.<br />
Your adoring fan,<br />
<br />
James M. Kauffman, Ed. D. <br />
Professor Emeritus Dept. of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education <br />
University of Virginia<br />
<br />
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<h4>
Originally posted to <a href="http://www.dailykos.com/blog/fly/">fly</a> on Thu Mar 25, 2010 at 01:34 AM PDT.</h4>
<h4>
Also republished by <a href="http://www.dailykos.com/blog/DailyKosClassics/">Daily Kos Classics</a>. </h4>
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-55198302004706981502015-04-04T13:43:00.001-04:002015-04-04T13:43:56.635-04:00DELICIOUS TRUTH: Lo, in the land of Indiana . . .<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-42794372149888824862015-04-03T23:54:00.001-04:002015-04-03T23:54:53.377-04:00Deliciously Awful on EVERY level, GYMKATA will suck away all your resistance with the skill of gymnastics, the kill of karate . . . and the power of cheese.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_QQCBFbuUTRl_8WGrTzXBIjTgDoEutKfc35EHG0YVYUrRrY5ArXf9XN0OCakaj1Qkwex_3f7eRX59feAwxyEJvUJzn7P-5axfhNWEiMlaKGWDOVFtGEEkOAbOR8hLrUiB14eUkLlXsug3/s1600/BM+Gymkata+0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_QQCBFbuUTRl_8WGrTzXBIjTgDoEutKfc35EHG0YVYUrRrY5ArXf9XN0OCakaj1Qkwex_3f7eRX59feAwxyEJvUJzn7P-5axfhNWEiMlaKGWDOVFtGEEkOAbOR8hLrUiB14eUkLlXsug3/s1600/BM+Gymkata+0.jpg" height="640" width="464" /></a></div>
Well, my darlings, I arrived home the other day, after an exhaustive bout of shopping, only to find my youngest and most precious (little Jimmy, jr.), watching something called <strong><span style="color: red;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Gymkata-Kurt-Thomas/dp/B00005JP3R?ie=UTF8&tag=itid04-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">GYMKATA</a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=itid04-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=B00005JP3R" height="1" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important;" width="1" /></span></strong>. With the third cosmopolitan I had at lunch suddenly kicking in, I felt compelled to sit myself down and see what kind of pornography the little demon had infected my clean home with.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBivYnzcDJSmIf4070VE3cGbMZvxlhD1q24_wpVP0lGeIT00sJrzQfmDa1f0HyDXVq6Dsl2MU6ps1FuyJjLo6IW1Pi3QlkfkTWgySa69YACIk2FZXMMg9UFPSQbTjo8_zZm0OwOFnkBhgt/s1600/BM+Gymkata+7.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBivYnzcDJSmIf4070VE3cGbMZvxlhD1q24_wpVP0lGeIT00sJrzQfmDa1f0HyDXVq6Dsl2MU6ps1FuyJjLo6IW1Pi3QlkfkTWgySa69YACIk2FZXMMg9UFPSQbTjo8_zZm0OwOFnkBhgt/s1600/BM+Gymkata+7.png" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF1jCcvAZYpC6SYXSi-GUq0rdXXPGqLnShXgfCE9GgjadVo8OsT192df98tYL8POKMKoy6xyYfvkd1_qXssq4jQBcEAFbNfoPBkTjAxMoO1X4c9aeYvATLbR_l9hQgJq6R0TXxMb7b0x6u/s1600/BM+Gymkata+11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF1jCcvAZYpC6SYXSi-GUq0rdXXPGqLnShXgfCE9GgjadVo8OsT192df98tYL8POKMKoy6xyYfvkd1_qXssq4jQBcEAFbNfoPBkTjAxMoO1X4c9aeYvATLbR_l9hQgJq6R0TXxMb7b0x6u/s1600/BM+Gymkata+11.jpg" height="350" width="400" /></a>Gymkata is so deliciouly awful, so horribly moronic, we're positve that when MGM studio execs greenlit the project, somewhere, trillions of light years away, a planet exploded. Apparently, someone in 1985 thought it would be a great idea to hire <strong>Kurt Thomas</strong> to headline a movie. (That person is probably living at the Y today.) Young Thomas — a champion gymnast who got stiffed out of an Olympic appearance because of the 1980 boycott — delivers his lines like he just emerged from a coma ten seconds prior to filming.<br />
<br />
But beyond our star's’ lack of thespian talent, the real challenge proved to be crafting a suitable vehicle that would showcase his impressive floor routines. Thus, the skill of "gymkata" was born - a hybrid of martial arts and... well... somersaults. This awkward-looking claptrap is shoe-horned into the skeletal framework of a 1957 book called "The Terrible Game" along with a love story where the girl speaks, perhaps, nine consecutive words during the entire film. The cherry on top was bringing in martial arts action film director Richard Clouse, (most noted for helming the Bruce Lee classic <em>Enter The Dragon</em>.) Of course, Thomas is to Bruce Lee what a Barbie Power Wheels is to Optimus Prime.<br />
<br />
This laugh-a-minute reimagining of the book, "The Terrible Game" is actually <em>The Most Dangerous Game</em>, as designed by the President's Council on Physical Fitness. It requires the player to run around and climb a rope, and we're told that only a select few can meet this grueling challenge: either world-class gymnasts, like American champion Kurt Thomas, or 11-year olds who've passed sixth-grade gym.<br />
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The film opens with an angry white man -- Kurt's dad, (who's apparently playing on the Terrible Game Senior Tour) -- attempting to cross the rope bridge at Camp Snoopy. Villain <strong>Richard Norton</strong> (we know he's evil because he's wearing Sonny Bono's sheepskin vest from <em>Wild on the Beach</em>) shoots an arrow into Kurt's dad, who falls to his death. Cut to the United States, where the Olympic Games are being held in what looks like a high-school auditorium. American champ Thomas dismounts the parallel bars, and is immediately recruited by the CIA to play The Game, which is held in Parmistan, a mountain kingdom ruled by "the Khan." Kurt will be trained by Princess Ruballi, the Khan's daughter, and even though she spends the first half of the film attempting to do grievous harm to his groin (knee it, stab it, rope-burn it, etc.), Ruballi eventually becomes Kurt's love interest, because she's the only person in the film who's shorter than he is.<br />
<br />
Kurt and the Princess white-water raft into Parmistan, where they're promptly attacked by Himalayan ninjas (clad in black Dr. Dentons). Hopelessly outnumbered, Kurt unleashes the secret martial art of Gymkata, and manages to overcome his assailants using the deadly power of Olga Korbut's compulsory floor routine from the '72 Olympics. Once in the capital, Kurt and the other competitors meet the Khan, (apparently a member of The Davy Crockett Hair Club for Men), who explains the rules: Basically, you run around and climb on various pieces of playground equipment until someone shoots you with an arrow. If Kurt wins, the U.S. will be allowed to build a "Star Wars" satellite-tracking station in Parmistan. If Kurt loses, he will be killed in the traditional way: shot with an arrow while playing the "Smack the Mole" game at a Chuck E. Cheese.<br />
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The next morning, the Khan announces that Sheepskin will wed Princess Ruballi after the game, with a reception to follow at a Medieval Times restaurant franchise. Then the competitors are off and running. Amazingly, Kurt makes it across the rope bridge without getting arrowed, and enters "The Village of the Damned," (a planned community for the criminally insane.) No one has ever escaped alive from this blood-soaked bedlam, and it is soon apparent why. In short order, Kurt is attacked by a man with a sickle, beaten to a pulp by a pack of Italian grandmothers, and mooned. Finally, the entire populace converges on Kurt, shrieking and waving various farm implements as they surround him in the village square. Fortunately, next to the communal well is the communal pommel horse. Leaping onto it, Kurt manages to kill the axe-wielding maniacs with a quick and deadly series of Magyar and Sivado cross-travel variations.<br />
<br />
The surviving villagers give Kurt a 9.2.<br />
<br />
The crazed peasants chase Kurt into a blind alley, where, surprisingly, one of the Himalayan ninjas reaches down and pulls Kurt to safety. The ninja then peels back his black mask to reveal that he is, in fact, . . .Kurt's father! (It turns out that he wasn't killed in that fall after all, just maimed.) Their tearful reunion is interrupted when Sheepskin shoots dad with an arrow ...again! Springing into action, Kurt heroically jumps onto a horse ... and rides away.<br />
<br />
Sheepskin catches up to our fleeing hero and gives him a well-deserved thrashing. But Kurt cleverly goes into "rope-a-dope," outlasting his opponent until they get to the page in the script where it says he wins. Sheepskin takes a dive, and Kurt proudly rides back into town with Dad, who's been maimed some more, but is otherwise just fine. Now, at last, everyone knows the truth: Sheepskin is a traitor, and Kurt's dad is Rasputin. Oh ..., and Kurt wins The Game -- but it's anyone's guess as to exactly how.<br />
<br />
As for my little Jimmy? As soon as Mommy's head gets clear, she's going to start looking into good military schools.</div>
Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-39146288784835151612015-03-12T21:53:00.003-04:002015-03-12T21:53:50.375-04:00MORE AND MORE, ACROSS THE NATION, THIS KEEPS HAPPENING . . . . <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-43521046765618349962015-03-07T00:43:00.000-05:002015-03-07T00:43:01.912-05:00A Delicious Work of Genius from singer-songwriter-comedian TREVOR MOORE<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Country singer Trevor Moore (a founding member of the Whitest Kids U'Know) details the surprising changes that have taken place in his life since same-sex couples were allowed to wed.Trevor Moore: High in Church premieres Friday, March 6 at 12a/11c.</strong></span></div>
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-44029861433146820172015-02-27T23:13:00.000-05:002015-02-27T23:14:14.938-05:00DELICIOUS Remembers: Our beloved Mr. Spock - Leonard Nimoy (1931 - 2015)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">LEONARD NIMOY DIES AT 83.</span></strong><br />
<strong>by Virginia Heffernan, New York Times Feb 27, 2015</strong><br />
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<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/27/arts/television/leonard-nimoy-spock-of-star-trek-dies-at-83.html?_r=0">http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/27/arts/television/leonard-nimoy-spock-of-star-trek-dies-at-83.html?_r=0</a><br />
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Leonard Nimoy, the sonorous, gaunt-faced actor who won a worshipful global following as Mr. Spock, the resolutely logical human-alien first officer of the Starship Enterprise in the television and movie juggernaut “Star Trek,” died on Friday morning at his home in the Bel Air section of Los Angeles. He was 83.</div>
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His wife, Susan Bay Nimoy, confirmed his death, saying the cause was end-stage chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.</div>
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Mr. Nimoy announced last year that he had the disease, attributing it to years of smoking, a habit he had given up three decades earlier. He had been hospitalized earlier in the week.</div>
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His artistic pursuits — poetry, photography and music in addition to acting — ranged far beyond the United Federation of Planets, but it was as Mr. Spock that Mr. Nimoy became a folk hero, bringing to life one of the most indelible characters of the last half century: a cerebral, unflappable, pointy-eared Vulcan with a signature salute and blessing: “Live long and prosper” (from the Vulcan “Dif-tor heh smusma”).</div>
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Mr. Nimoy, who was teaching Method acting at his own studio when he was cast in the original “Star Trek” television series in the mid-1960s, relished playing outsiders, and he developed what he later admitted was a mystical identification with Spock, the lone alien on the starship’s bridge.<br />
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Yet he also acknowledged ambivalence about being tethered to the character, expressing it most plainly in the titles of two autobiographies: “I Am Not Spock,” published in 1977, and “I Am Spock,” published in 1995.</div>
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In the first, he wrote, “In Spock, I finally found the best of both worlds: to be widely accepted in public approval and yet be able to continue to play the insulated alien through the Vulcan character.”</div>
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“Star Trek,” which had its premiere on NBC on Sept. 8, 1966, made Mr. Nimoy a star. Gene Roddenberry, the creator of the franchise, called him “the conscience of ‘Star Trek’ ” — an often earnest, sometimes campy show that employed the distant future (as well as some special effects that appear primitive by today’s standards) to take on social issues of the 1960s.</div>
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His stardom would endure. Though the series was canceled after three seasons because of low ratings, a cultlike following — the conference-holding, costume-wearing Trekkies, or Trekkers (the designation Mr. Nimoy preferred) — coalesced soon after “Star Trek” went into syndication.<br />
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The fans’ devotion only deepened when “Star Trek” was spun off into an animated show, various new series and an uneven parade of movies starring much of the original television cast, including — besides Mr. Nimoy — William Shatner (as Captain Kirk), DeForest Kelley (Dr. McCoy), George Takei (the helmsman, Sulu), James Doohan (the chief engineer, Scott), Nichelle Nichols (the chief communications officer, Uhura) and Walter Koenig (the navigator, Chekov).</div>
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When the director J. J. Abrams revived the “Star Trek” film franchise in 2009, with an all-new cast including Zachary Quinto as Spock, he included a cameo part for Mr. Nimoy, as an older version of the same character. Mr. Nimoy also appeared in the 2013 follow-up, “Star Trek Into Darkness.”</div>
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His zeal to entertain and enlighten reached beyond “Star Trek” and crossed genres. He had a starring role in the dramatic television series “Mission: Impossible” and frequently performed onstage, notably as Tevye in “Fiddler on the Roof.” His poetry was voluminous, and he published books of his photography.</div>
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He also directed movies, including two from the “Star Trek” franchise, and television shows. And he made records, singing pop songs as well as original songs about “Star Trek,” and gave spoken-word performances — to the delight of his fans and the bewilderment of critics.</div>
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But all that was subsidiary to Mr. Spock, the most complex member of the Enterprise crew, who was both one of the gang and a creature apart, engaged at times in a lonely struggle with his warring racial halves.</div>
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In one of his most memorable “Star Trek” performances, Mr. Nimoy tried to follow in the tradition of two actors he admired, Charles Laughton and Boris Karloff, who each played a monstrous character — Quasimodo and the Frankenstein monster — who is transformed by love.</div>
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In Episode 24, which was first shown on March 2, 1967, Mr. Spock is indeed transformed. Under the influence of aphrodisiacal spores he discovers on the planet Omicron Ceti III, he lets free his human side and announces his love for Leila Kalomi (Jill Ireland), a woman he had once known on Earth. In this episode, Mr. Nimoy brought to Spock’s metamorphosis not only warmth, compassion and playfulness, but also a rarefied concept of alienation.</div>
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“I am what I am, Leila,” Mr. Spock declares after the spores’ effect has worn off and his emotions are again in check. “And if there are self-made purgatories, then we all have to live in them. Mine can be no worse than someone else’s.”</div>
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Born in Boston on March 26, 1931, Leonard Simon Nimoy was the second son of Max and Dora Nimoy, Ukrainian immigrants and Orthodox Jews. His father worked as a barber.</div>
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From the age of 8, Leonard acted in local productions, winning parts at a community college, where he performed through his high school years. In 1949, after taking a summer course at Boston College, he traveled to Hollywood, though it wasn’t until 1951 that he landed small parts in two movies, “Queen for a Day” and “Rhubarb.”</div>
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He continued to be cast in little-known movies, although he did presciently play an alien invader in a cult serial called “Zombies of the Stratosphere,” and in 1961 he had a minor role on an episode of “The Twilight Zone.” His first starring movie role came in 1952 with “Kid Monk Baroni,” in which he played a disfigured Italian street-gang leader who becomes a boxer.</div>
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Mr. Nimoy served in the Army for two years, rising to sergeant and spending 18 months at Fort McPherson in Georgia, where he presided over shows for the Army’s Special Services branch. He also directed and starred as Stanley in the Atlanta Theater Guild’s production of “A Streetcar Named Desire” before receiving his final discharge in November 1955.</div>
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He then returned to California, where he worked as a soda jerk, movie usher and cabdriver while studying acting at the Pasadena Playhouse. He achieved wide visibility in the late 1950s and early 1960s on television shows like “Wagon Train,” “Rawhide” and “Perry Mason.” Then came “Star Trek.”</div>
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Mr. Nimoy returned to college in his 40s and earned a master’s degree in Spanish from Antioch University Austin, an affiliate of Antioch College in Ohio, in 1978. Antioch University later awarded Mr. Nimoy an honorary doctorate.</div>
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Mr. Nimoy directed the movies “Star Trek III: The Search for Spock” (1984) and “Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home” (1986), which he helped write. In 1991, the same year that he resurrected Mr. Spock on two episodes of “Star Trek: The Next Generation,” Mr. Nimoy was also the executive producer and a writer of the movie “Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.”</div>
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He then directed the hugely successful comedy “Three Men and a Baby” (1987), a far cry from his science-fiction work, and appeared in made-for-television movies. He received an Emmy nomination for the 1982 movie “A Woman Called Golda,” in which he portrayed the husband of Golda Meir, the prime minister of Israel, who was played by Ingrid Bergman. It was the fourth Emmy nomination of his career — the other three were for his “Star Trek” work — although he never won.</div>
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Mr. Nimoy’s marriage to the actress Sandi Zober ended in divorce. Besides his wife, he is survived by his children, Adam and Julie Nimoy; a stepson, Aaron Bay Schuck; six grandchildren and one great-grandchild; and an older brother, Melvin.</div>
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Though his speaking voice was among his chief assets as an actor, the critical consensus was that his music was mortifying. Mr. Nimoy, however, was undaunted, and his fans seemed to enjoy the camp of his covers of songs like “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0TCavuJNAI" title="Mr. Nimoy singing.">If I Had a Hammer</a>.” (His first album was called “Leonard Nimoy Presents Mr. Spock’s Music From Outer Space.”)</div>
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From 1977 to 1982, Mr. Nimoy hosted the syndicated series “In Search Of ...,” which explored mysteries like the Loch Ness monster and U.F.O.s. He also narrated “Ancient Mysteries” on the History Channel and appeared in commercials, including two with Mr. Shatner for Priceline.com. He provided the voice for animated characters in “Transformers: The Movie,” in 1986, and “The Pagemaster,” in 1994.</div>
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In 2001 he voiced the king of Atlantis in the Disney animated movie “Atlantis: The Lost Empire,” and in 2005 he furnished voice-overs for the computer game Civilization IV. More recently, he had a recurring role on the science-fiction series “Fringe” and was heard, as the voice of Spock, in an episode of the hit sitcom “The Big Bang Theory.”</div>
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Mr. Nimoy was an active supporter of the arts as well. The Thalia, a venerable movie theater on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, now a multi-use hall that is part of Symphony Space, was renamed the Leonard Nimoy Thalia in 2002.</div>
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He also found his voice as a writer. Besides his autobiographies, he published “A Lifetime of Love: Poems on the Passages of Life” in 2002. Typical of Mr. Nimoy’s simple free verse are these lines: “In my heart/Is the seed of the tree/Which will be me.”</div>
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In later years, he rediscovered his Jewish heritage, and in 1991 he produced and starred in “Never Forget,” a television movie based on the story of a Holocaust survivor who sued a neo-Nazi organization of Holocaust deniers.<br />
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In 2002, having illustrated his books of poetry with his photographs, Mr. Nimoy published “Shekhina,” a book devoted to photography with a Jewish theme, that of the feminine aspect of God. His black-and-white photographs of nude and seminude women struck some Orthodox Jewish leaders as heretical, but Mr. Nimoy asserted that his work was consistent with the teachings of the kabbalah.</div>
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His religious upbringing also influenced the characterization of Spock. The character’s <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmkDOzjfSSY" title="Mr. Nimoy explains the salute.">split-fingered salute</a>, he often explained, had been his idea: He based it on the <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/31305774@N00/5569597091" title="Image of the blessing on a gravestone.">kohanic blessing</a>, a manual approximation of the Hebrew letter shin, which is the first letter in Shaddai, one of the Hebrew names for God.</div>
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“To this day, I sense Vulcan speech patterns, Vulcan social attitudes and even Vulcan patterns of logic and emotional suppression in my behavior,” Mr. Nimoy wrote years after the original series ended.</div>
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But that wasn’t such a bad thing, he discovered. “Given the choice,” he wrote, “if I had to be someone else, I would be Spock.”</div>
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-53061379491139467432015-02-01T01:27:00.001-05:002015-02-01T04:16:23.776-05:00A movie so deliciouly overheated that (unlike the poster tagline) DELICIOUS asks, "Can anyone ever really be ready for MANDINGO?"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQGJaKvGc3CGar8cOp7nIXm-JIY5Jeu2_hcYv7jKuJYwCzszYi4XIzeUlrZVoBUtGkkNXdqSvN6jJNZdIrWQjutwp1OUZMlyf8skEEYI8klnX63Q5bXr48Chttt7RB8uSFLxUKgP3gGraN/s1600/BM+Mandingo+9.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQGJaKvGc3CGar8cOp7nIXm-JIY5Jeu2_hcYv7jKuJYwCzszYi4XIzeUlrZVoBUtGkkNXdqSvN6jJNZdIrWQjutwp1OUZMlyf8skEEYI8klnX63Q5bXr48Chttt7RB8uSFLxUKgP3gGraN/s1600/BM+Mandingo+9.png" height="360" width="640" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj8n43ovwdBYsvhedeBWgKu4PzFji9K3Np09_6rN_deTt1RkpUJUs8aNuTcWpzMx5tEvYECaeBsvbZ0Al90SQBm2D7R3xLwaoGH3Vqlm7uuICJu-Z-s6EHrrp_9Iy8nnUOy63NY238XhW8/s1600/BM+Mandingo+6.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj8n43ovwdBYsvhedeBWgKu4PzFji9K3Np09_6rN_deTt1RkpUJUs8aNuTcWpzMx5tEvYECaeBsvbZ0Al90SQBm2D7R3xLwaoGH3Vqlm7uuICJu-Z-s6EHrrp_9Iy8nnUOy63NY238XhW8/s1600/BM+Mandingo+6.png" height="372" width="640" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Some movies are just so hysterically bad that they </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">pose the question, "Can there really be too much of a good thing?" Purporting to show us what the pre-Civil War South was really like, <b><i>Mandingo</i></b> answers this query: You bet. With more violence, more nudity, more foul language, and more racism than any other flick we’ve ever seen, you’ll hate yourself in morning for laughing yourself silly, but if you put this maximum offender into your home video system of choice, just try looking away.</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">
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In the first ten seconds, slave breeder <b>James Mason </b>observes, about a slave starlet, "She’s Mandingo wench. You don’t let just any bud get her," to remind his crippled son,<b> Perry King</b>, of his family obligation. Local doc <b>Roy Poole </b>agrees, saying, "She’s craving, in the bud o’ heat. You pleasure her, she get better." The slave starlet tries to stall the inevitable by drawling to King, "I too black, I not fit for you." Mason settles the matter by stating, "Master’s duty to pleasure the wenches first time."</span></span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGVwXR2dHPNtAPd5xRbAgLCR-Tg_Sy68rkwSgTi-3ozgBJ7Vn6WHMYuN8OG0-8uGELFUNuR_hst6zfhEH0HG7NgaJlxLLZ8cAowJr8-e-fOhaz3_hgg12Y0lEPlKDe6nE67hXeFSSS3SHb/s1600/BM+Mandingo+8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGVwXR2dHPNtAPd5xRbAgLCR-Tg_Sy68rkwSgTi-3ozgBJ7Vn6WHMYuN8OG0-8uGELFUNuR_hst6zfhEH0HG7NgaJlxLLZ8cAowJr8-e-fOhaz3_hgg12Y0lEPlKDe6nE67hXeFSSS3SHb/s1600/BM+Mandingo+8.jpg" height="226" width="400" /></a><br />
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Then it’s back to the family mansion, where Doc Poole suggests that Mason’s rheumatism would improve if he’d put his feet on black children. So for the rest of the movie, Mason (astoundingly) uses two little slave lads as his foot stools.</span></span><br />
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King brings home a new stud slave, <b>Ken Norton</b>, another slave to be King’s mistress, <b>Brenda Sykes</b>, and — last but not least — a Southern belle whom King will marry, <b>Susan George</b>. King tells his pa, Mason, that Norton is "hung so big he’ll tear the wenches," then orders Norton to "shuck down those pants!" When the wedding night’s a bust — King sneers at George, "you thinkin’ I don’t know a virgin when I sleeps with one and pleasures?" — King turns to Sykes, driving George into Norton’s bed.<br />
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Mason tells George that to win King’s affection back, she should "do dirty things to get him in your bed and keep him there." Instead, George — whose incestuous relationship with her brother is her Big Secret — screams at King about Sykes, "That slut! You like black meat? You’d rather pleasure with a baboon?" and then (there’s more), when George learns Sykes is pregnant, she hisses, "You dumb animal!" and pushes Sykes down the stairs. Later, George discovers she’s preggers and — as the doctor’s wife so eloquently puts it after the delivery — "It come, only it ain’t white." <br />
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King cheers us up by promptly poisoning George, then finds the baby’s real dad, Norton. You’re not going to believe this — we didn’t — King settles the score by shooting Norton, then pushing him into a vat of boiling water, and then pitchforking him to death. In retaliation, one of Norton’s pals shoots and kills Mason, ensuring that he wouldn’t be able to overact in the sequel, <em>Drum</em>. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Mesmerizingly heinous.</span> </span><br />
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-60763413594213462132015-01-13T15:05:00.001-05:002015-01-13T15:07:13.026-05:00DELICIOUS TRUTH: Listen up, GOP (feel free to pass it on)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-49839603131827454072014-12-24T14:28:00.002-05:002014-12-24T14:28:52.142-05:00For Deliciously Bad Holiday Viewing, NOTHING Can Compare With SANTA CLAUS The Movie!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Ever wonder where Santa came from, and how it's possible he's been around so long? <strong><em><span style="color: #cc0000;"></span></em></strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Santa-Claus-Movie-John-Lithgow/dp/B001ADPMQS?ie=UTF8&tag=itid04-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Santa Claus the Movie </a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=itid04-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=B001ADPMQS" height="1" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px !important; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important;" width="1" />will tell you. It seems that in a faux medieval land there was a woodcutter who liked to make toys for children. Returning home one snowy Christmas Eve, Claus (<strong>David Huddleston</strong>) and the missus (<strong>Judy Cornwell</strong>) and the two reindeer pulling their sleigh froze to death in a sudden storm. But magic starlight reanimates them, as elves in green felt shanghai them to a Brigadoon-like North Pole HQ. "This is your home now," they titter evilly to the undead Santa, and so he's stuck there forever, amongst the barracks full of elves and sweatshops full of toys, which the immortal elves have been making in anticipation of his arrival.<br />
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Ancient elf <strong>Burgess Meredith</strong> tells Huddleston that he is "the chosen one," and that a prophecy foretold his coming. In this way, <em>Santa Claus the Movie</em> is just like <em>The Matrix</em>, only instead of being cool and exciting it's bizarro and satanically corrupt. More mysterious and unanswered is the question of how an immortal elf can become ancient -- or has poor old Burgess been shuffling and moaning his way around since the beginning of time?<br />
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Santa -- who is just as wooden as his toys -- seems not a whit disturbed by the prospect of an eternal, unrelenting hell of catering to spoiled kiddies around the globe. "Ho ho ho," you can practically hear him say, "I'm undead! Might as well make the best of it." Clueless by nature, he's prone to saying things like, one Christmas Eve, "Tonight there's not a child alive who's not bursting with joy and happiness," apparently oblivious to all the non-Christian children he won't be visiting. The question of the poor kids who invariably are forgotten by the Fat Guy is pushed aside as well -- though we imagine that Mrs. Claus, who lobbied for the exclusion of bad children at Christmastime, perhaps attached a rider to her bill disenfranchising the poor, as well.<br />
<iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=itid04-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B001ADPMQS&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 260px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe><br />
Or maybe Santa is just an inhumanely callous monster -- perfectly understandable, given that he is, in fact, <em>undead</em>. By the time we reach the present day, and the second of the three plots in <em>Santa Claus the movie</em>, Santa has met <strong>Christian Fitzpatrick</strong>, a homeless street urchin who has to beg food off strangers. Santa takes Fitzpatrick hot-rodding in his sleigh as a special treat to cheer him up... but does Claus give the kid a home, parents, or even a warm winter coat? No. He just drops him off to fend for himself promising to return next Christmas Eve. (Not even a crappy wooden toy? Thanks for the buggy ride, Santa!)<br />
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The third - and final - plot involves an elf named Patch, (played with dexterous apathy by <strong>Dudley Moore)</strong>, who defects to work for a sinister toymaker named B.Z., (played with the usual scenery-guzzling gusto of<strong> John Lithgow)</strong>. Upon medical advice, we’re not permitted to discuss this subplot at all. (Our doctors have informed us that our medications cannot be upped any further.) Suffice it to say that in <em>all </em>the annals of pestilent filmmaking, this ranks right up there with the complete works of Michael Bay.<br />
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You must see <em>Santa Claus the movie</em>, if only to boggle at the horrifying-depths to which a big studio Christmas film can sink. It actually perverts the spirit of the holiday into something creepy, itchy, and laugh-out-loud insane Just be sure to set aside sufficient funds for a lifetime of therapy afterward.</div>
Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-79232595772880873982014-11-17T15:55:00.000-05:002014-11-17T15:57:26.103-05:00A DELICIOUS antidote to the most mind-boggling, undeserved celebrity status since Paris Hilton<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<strong><em><span style="font-size: x-large;"> EAT YOUR HEART OUT, </span></em></strong><br />
<strong><em><span style="font-size: x-large;"> KARDASHIAN!</span></em></strong><br />
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-62008706638913709492014-11-16T14:27:00.000-05:002014-11-16T14:27:31.598-05:00ATTENTION: We interrupt this blog for a public service announcement - Kirk Cameron is STILL an idiot!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
click the link below to be taken to the original post at Media Matters (with video):<br />
<a href="http://mediamatters.org/blog/2014/11/14/outnumbered-helps-kirk-cameron-lecture-women-on/201577">http://mediamatters.org/blog/2014/11/14/outnumbered-helps-kirk-cameron-lecture-women-on/201577</a><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">Fox News' <em>Outnumbered</em> Helps Kirk Cameron Lecture Women On Christmas Etiquette And Accepting Sexism (oh yes).</span></strong><br />
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Fox News' <i>Outnumbered </i>helped Kirk Cameron justify his recent instruction to women on proper etiquette during the Christmas season, a defense that offers a glimpse into what drives Cameron and the network's campaign against the imaginary War on Christmas.<br />
Cameron, an evangelical Christian made famous for his role in ABC's <i>Growing Pains</i>, took to Facebook on November 13 to <a href="https://celebrity.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/kirk-cameron-urges-women-to-save-christmas-by-cooking-decorating-singing-141250143.html">instruct women</a> on the necessity of remaining joyful this Christmas while <a href="http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/11/kirk-cameron-to-americas-moms-get-back-in-the-kitchen-and-save-christmas/">cooking and decorating</a> the home so as not to ruin the holiday for their families. Cameron was promoting his new Christmas movie, <i>Saving Christmas</i>, which promises <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/12/kirk-cameron-christmas_n_6149592.html">take a stand</a> against people "who really want to put a big wet blanket on" Christmas by saying 'Happy Holidays' or opposing Christmas plays in schools. In his post, Cameron directed women, "The joy of the mom is her children's strength, so don't let anything steal your joy ... Let your children, your family, see your joy in the way you decorate your home this Christmas, in the food that you cook, the songs you sing, the stories you tell, and the traditions that you keep."<br />
Cameron's remarks <a href="https://celebrity.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/kirk-cameron-urges-women-to-save-christmas-by-cooking-decorating-singing-141250143.html">received</a> <a href="http://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/celebrity/kirk-cameron-wants-women-to-save-christmas-by-cooking-singing-and-focusing-on-joy/ar-BBduumc">widespread</a> <a href="http://defamer.gawker.com/village-idiot-kirk-cameron-wants-women-to-know-their-pl-1657892300">criticism</a>, but he defended his lecture the next day on Fox News' <i>Outnumbered</i>. Rejecting the characterization that he was directing women not to work outside the home, Cameron told his female co-hosts that he was merely praising stay-at-home mothers for their work and sacrifice.<br />
Co-host Sandra Smith assured Cameron that even though some women perceived his remarks to be offensive, "I know what you meant by it, and I believe in what you said." Hosts Andrea Tantaros and Kirsten Powers meanwhile expressed sympathy for Cameron and asked how he handled having his words twisted and sensationalized by media outlets.<br />
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Cameron's proposed solution to saving Christmas -- a smiling mother making food for her family -- adopts a striking 1950s pop culture view of motherhood, families, and our nation as a "Christian" country. It's not surprising Cameron's fantasy found safe harbor on <i>Outnumbered </i>as his view is <a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/11/14/kirk-cameron-saves-christmas-from-abominable-killjoys-other-christians.html">echoed</a> in Fox's annual crusade against the <a href="http://mediamatters.org/blog/2013/11/12/on-veterans-day-hannity-devotes-twice-as-much-t/196853">imaginary</a> <a href="http://mediamatters.org/blog/2012/12/20/the-war-on-christmas-isnt-over-for-bill-oreilly/191925">War on Christmas</a>. Bill O'Reilly has <a href="http://mediamatters.org/video/2014/11/12/oreilly-blames-the-first-salvo-this-season-in-t/201547">already waged</a> his first battle of the 2014 Christmas season, railing against losing "all our traditions" to Muslims and other religions and last year, Megyn Kelly infamously <a href="http://mediamatters.org/video/2013/12/11/megyn-kelly-wants-kids-at-home-to-know-that-jes/197238">argued</a> that both Jesus Christ and Santa Claus were white. <i>Outnumbered</i>'s defense of Cameron's view of motherhood at Christmastime offers a window into what Fox's War on Christmas is really about -- the desire to return to a fictional past full of all-white, <i>Leave</i><i> It To Beaver </i>families.<br />
Earlier in the Fox program, Cameron similarly dismissed concerns about sexism in politics. Weighing in on House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi's recent <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-fix/wp/2014/11/13/nancy-pelosi-just-lectured-us-about-sexism-and-politics/">remarks</a> that women are held to a different standard in politics, often subjected to demeaning questions about age and qualifications, Cameron argued that Pelosi and other women in politics are just getting what they've asked for:<br />
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CAMERON: I just think it's funny that when someone wants to be treated equally with men, someone wants to be treated like one of the guys, not differently, and then they're treated the way men treat other men, which tends to be kind of rough, it's just a little awkward when they then complain that someone threw an elbow.</blockquote>
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-88286965105091248372014-11-11T12:44:00.000-05:002014-11-12T12:07:57.400-05:00TODAY MY DARLINGS, WE WILL SAVOR THE DELICIOUS, CAREER-HALTING 'MOMENTS' <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGvgtiRSIAX-P8OYYy8ffxjoujEVfWK47dt6tOaZ0GaqiXxjnCfqJDHh5-jAEMeu7OIOYTiScFJHf-j6QKJvaaVa-WLrGRVBloFc65zQJMRSeXNv6GtQJuBHE-GAXtTO7lEAvsUMm5XTyD/s1600/BM+Moment+By+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGvgtiRSIAX-P8OYYy8ffxjoujEVfWK47dt6tOaZ0GaqiXxjnCfqJDHh5-jAEMeu7OIOYTiScFJHf-j6QKJvaaVa-WLrGRVBloFc65zQJMRSeXNv6GtQJuBHE-GAXtTO7lEAvsUMm5XTyD/s640/BM+Moment+By+3.jpg" width="422" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu13tiQRFXBWUhAPacryY1SWO1SAlZKFVnXtwyQvbtc5ESQ2jLtxuqKIdFRaPfrTtJPfYeFY08ILwkZZTITdElPRO8nEFuDw5PoTVXp_he9udKjouXJ3jrSQQf03T0FzfY1LJ1Q-Fuouv_/s1600/BM+Moment+By+0.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu13tiQRFXBWUhAPacryY1SWO1SAlZKFVnXtwyQvbtc5ESQ2jLtxuqKIdFRaPfrTtJPfYeFY08ILwkZZTITdElPRO8nEFuDw5PoTVXp_he9udKjouXJ3jrSQQf03T0FzfY1LJ1Q-Fuouv_/s1600/BM+Moment+By+0.JPG" /></a>At the height of their popularity, <strong>Lily Tomlin</strong> and <strong>John Travolta</strong> combined their considerable clout — and lookalike shag hairdos — to bring their careers to a halt with the screamingly funny melodrama <strong><span style="color: #993399;">MOMENT BY MOMENT</span></strong> about a Beverly Hills matron’s fling with a studly young gigolo. Written and directed by Tomlin’s longtime collaborator Jane Wagner, the movie commits two fatal errors: This ripe-for-parody trash is (inexplicably) played straight-faced, and Travolta’s character is (even more inexplicably) named "Strip." Everytime Tomlin speaks his name, she seems to be asking him to peel — even when he’s already naked, as in the hot tub scene that made audiences cry with laughter.<br />
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Travolta: "I love you. Do you love me?"<br />
Tomlin: "Strip . . ."<br />
Travolta: "You don’t love me?"<br />
Tomlin: "Oh, Strip . . ."<br />
Travolta: "I’m not good enough for you, is that it?"<br />
Tomlin: "Strip! This is ridiculous. Oh, Strip!"<br />
Travolta: "When you’re ready to admit you love me, you can have me, but not until."<br />
Tomlin: "Strip!"<br />
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Names are not, however, the only problem. Tomlin’s meant-to-be-heartbreaking (but-we’re-afraid-they’re-side-splitting!) telephone conversations with her estranged husband go thus: "Trish," says the husband’s voice, "we’ve got to talk . . . What about the pool filter?" Tomlin replies, sadly "What about it?" "What do you want me to do?" he asks. "You decide," she says, before collapsing in tears.<br />
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As embarrassing as all this is, Tomlin never stoops to Travolta’s level. He agreed to be photographed from the waist down while tugging off his pants so the camera can lovingly stare at his, uh, bathing suit as he bumps ‘n’ grinds his way down into the sea. (And what was he thinking of when he agreed to call Tomlin such catchy nicknames as "Miss Ultra-Frost" and "Miss Fabu-Lash"?)<br />
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What was anyone thinking of when they decided not to cut out the howler scene in which Travolta says, "I’ve had it with cheap sex, it leaves me feeling cheap," and Tomlin replies, "I’ve never had cheap sex before — I was sort of looking forward to it."? Then there’s the foot fetish show at an art gallery, where Tomlin informs Travolta, "I don’t like to see you drink so much at your age," and he responds, "I’m not so young as I used to be — and this party’s going to turn me gray overnight." (It’s amazing that the movie’s reviews didn’t do just that.)<br />
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After they fight, Travolta says, "I’m splitting. Pretty soon you’ll be old enough to be my grandmother." "Where will you go?" Tomlin asks. Travolta runs through his options: "Maybe Vegas. A rich lady asked me to go to St. Tropez," then adds, in the film’s only believable moment, "I got offered a porno movie." When he’s gone, Trish runs through the house, calling "Strip, Strip, Strip, Strip!" then, embarks, wide-eyed, on a drive through Trailer Park America to find the hustler she loves. We located this rare gem on Universal HD cable network. It has never been released on home video. Write your congressman!</div>
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-40297399519905273142014-10-24T00:40:00.000-04:002014-12-26T03:42:35.940-05:00DELICIOUS ANTICIPATION: This Christmas, the folks at Disney and director Rob Marshall bring Stephen Sondheim's Broadway musical masterpiece to the big screen with an amazing cast!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcyPNdVlUJlID_SgGnn2reJ3CL9A50TTe91UG4J8qdjHZi-G6oWttO4p6f_7wGQlYhzcM6PZU8nTUNZfV8EiRMA00N6bZ14qP6U3GJHr-tzmAitqXiM3D_c_jJMSvz7g_6QeHE52vunxrx/s1600/film+mu+Into+the+Woods+0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcyPNdVlUJlID_SgGnn2reJ3CL9A50TTe91UG4J8qdjHZi-G6oWttO4p6f_7wGQlYhzcM6PZU8nTUNZfV8EiRMA00N6bZ14qP6U3GJHr-tzmAitqXiM3D_c_jJMSvz7g_6QeHE52vunxrx/s1600/film+mu+Into+the+Woods+0.jpg" /></a><strong>CLICK THIS LINK TO WATCH MERYL STREEP PERFORM A NUMBER IN THE FILM:</strong> <a a11yfocused="true" aria-haspopup="true" class="Object-active" href="http://www.vanityfair.com/vf-hollywood/2014/11/meryl-streep-sings-into-the-woods-video" id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT333_com_zimbra_url" tabindex="0" target="_blank">www.vanityfair.com/vf-hollywood/2014/11/meryl-streep-sings-into-the-woods-video</a> "Into the Woods" is a modern twist on the beloved Brothers Grimm fairy tales, intertwining the plots of a few choice stories and exploring the consequences of the characters' wishes and quests. This humorous and heartfelt musical follows the classic tales of Cinderella (Anna Kendrick), Little Red Riding Hood (Lilla Crawford), Jack and the Beanstalk (Daniel Huttlestone), and Rapunzel (MacKenzie Mauzy) - all tied together by an original story involving a baker and his wife (James Corden & Emily Blunt), their wish to begin a family and their interaction with the witch (Meryl Streep) who has put a curse on them. Rob Marshall, the talented filmmaker behind the Academy Award®-winning musical "Chicago" and Disney's "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides," helms the film, which is based on the Tony®-winning original musical by James Lapine, who also penned the screenplay, and legendary composer Stephen Sondheim, who provides the music and lyrics. Produced by Marshall, John DeLuca, "Wicked" producer Marc Platt and Callum McDougall, "Into the Woods" hits theaters December 25, 2014.</div>
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-90416297712378866472014-10-20T12:36:00.000-04:002014-10-20T20:29:27.051-04:00COME TO SHANGRI-LA. A MAGICAL PLACE WHERE THE SUN ALWAYS SHINES AND YOU'LL NEVER GROW OLD. A PLACE WHERE ACTORS WHO CAN'T SING OR DANCE ... DO IT ANYWAY! <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Hungry for memorably, side-splittingly Bad? Then look no further! The infamous 1973 mega-bomb <strong><span style="color: #3d85c6;">LOST HORIZON</span></strong> gives you 149 minutes worth, dished up faux Asian style by producer Ross Hunter. Hunter was already richer than Midas from producing such gems as <em>Imitation of Life</em> and <em>Magnificent Obsession</em> when he spent zillions to remake Frank Capra’s classic movie fantasy about Shangri-La into a Burt Bacharach/Hal David musical, all of it starring non-singing, non-dancing, non-actors.<br />
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The hilarity begins with a planeload of cardboard characters: diplomat <strong>Peter Finch</strong>, his surly brother <strong>Michael York</strong>, engineer <strong>George Kennedy</strong>, entertainer <strong>Bobby Van</strong>, and <strong>Sally Kellerman</strong> as a suicidal Newsweek photographer who, at first sign of air turbulence, starts popping pills. Hyperventilating, Kellerman swoons, "I feel we’re heading for outer space."</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI66Vqd-Dil_3ODqCQiNTQfowF8_MwwNBHpgCC9Wkn2bWDrDqywoq_EPM_O8f_fAqSf8e-hyWONQFRdTXacrjojERoOcf274GVLVdVXbCj3yl6zkZe59r5OhCCDefQDNJYmoP-ryfelOaX/s1600/BM+Lost+Horizon+19.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI66Vqd-Dil_3ODqCQiNTQfowF8_MwwNBHpgCC9Wkn2bWDrDqywoq_EPM_O8f_fAqSf8e-hyWONQFRdTXacrjojERoOcf274GVLVdVXbCj3yl6zkZe59r5OhCCDefQDNJYmoP-ryfelOaX/s1600/BM+Lost+Horizon+19.jpg" height="531" width="640" /></a>No such luck: Instead of a snowy death, our heroes’ plane crash dumps them in a smiley utopia apparently inspired by a Liberace theme park. <br />
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Resident guru, ancient <strong>John Gielgud</strong> (picture a mummy on Prozac), brings Finch to confer with the even more ancient High Lama <strong>Charles</strong> <strong>Boyer</strong> (picture a mummy beyond Prozac), who suggests that Finch linger forever. He doesn’t need much convincing; he’s already fallen for schoolmarm <strong>Liv Ullman</strong>. "Is there some delicious drug in our food?" Finch asks "or is this all a mirage?" <br />
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Drugs are the only possible explanation; in any case, only drugs can help get you past the sight of Ullman swinging her hands, bugging her eyes, thrashing in fields, and lip-synching "The World Is a Circle" – it’s enough to make one appreciate Cybill Shepherd in <em>At Long Last Love</em>. (Well... maybe not appreciate so much as tolerate.)<br />
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No sooner is Kellerman talked down from leaping off a ledge (did she foresee the reviews?) Than she, too, is bleating in song. Then steel yourself for the "Festival of the Family"number, in which <strong>James Shigeta</strong> and scads of arrythmic extras dance a two-step, singing about family values.</div>
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Everybody’s soooo bloody happy except York, who plots his escape with dewy (If obviously pregnant) librarian <strong>Olivia Hussey</strong>. Gielgud grumbles that Hussy’s youthful facade will shatter if she leaves this magical land – it’s only Shangri-La that keeps her from growing ancient, you see – but York eventually persuades Finch to escape with them. Just as Gielgud predicted, Hussey ages to, oh, about Gielgud’s age, and York tumbles to his death down a mountainside. Lucky them.</div>
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Finch, sadder but wiser, returns to his paradise "with its feet rooted in the good earth of this fertile valley while his head explores the eternal." We can’t vouch for where anybody’s head was at in making this movie, but we can hazard a guess. <br />
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Be sure to catch it on the recent 2012 issued (restored to its original Roadshow length!) Twilight Time Blu ray. Essential, if life-shortening, viewing.</div>
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-88778969689804755212014-10-12T20:22:00.000-04:002014-10-13T02:33:15.005-04:00LIBERACE PLAYS A SIMPLY FABULOUS HETEROSEXUAL IN HIS DELICIOUSLY MISCALCULATED BID FOR MOVIE STARDOM 'SINCERELY YOURS.'<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDlvQhlZ55BAN-ZvSc3TGKF8SZR2BCcuix0JGl_-4DxXz3QTDsFgw2x2lLHwzSG1m00663NhtuvGF35RTrMESbak-1pi_5ggsqEmkP12km_xOzfX7Ycrlod4YIFHz5AknK1_aP6Wb_tS8O/s1600/BM+Sincerely+Yours+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDlvQhlZ55BAN-ZvSc3TGKF8SZR2BCcuix0JGl_-4DxXz3QTDsFgw2x2lLHwzSG1m00663NhtuvGF35RTrMESbak-1pi_5ggsqEmkP12km_xOzfX7Ycrlod4YIFHz5AknK1_aP6Wb_tS8O/s1600/BM+Sincerely+Yours+5.jpg" height="222" width="400" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8p6ZxLvPFgP7aNQdZPkgtnHwBBpn3gk2naHtNOknC5Is5fs3BCc5DC2EhTOBKmoBi_QrZPEe0g9hJ1F5XqGCWpbbZsPrdmOC2jRMQKcD02Td8fL2GGrLEBamcCh7a49kdVc3D2rgainYk/s1600/BM+Sincerely+Yours+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8p6ZxLvPFgP7aNQdZPkgtnHwBBpn3gk2naHtNOknC5Is5fs3BCc5DC2EhTOBKmoBi_QrZPEe0g9hJ1F5XqGCWpbbZsPrdmOC2jRMQKcD02Td8fL2GGrLEBamcCh7a49kdVc3D2rgainYk/s1600/BM+Sincerely+Yours+1.jpg" height="640" width="454" /></a>Quick now, who was the least likely musical talent to ever have hoped they'd make it as a star of the silver screen? If you guessed Luciano Pavarotti in <em>Yes, Giorgio,</em> Cyndi Lauper in <em>Vibes</em>, Mariah Carey in <em>Glitter</em> or Madonna in just about anything, then you've never seen <strong>Liberace</strong> in the 1955 howler <strong><span style="color: #cc33cc;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Sincerely-Yours-VHS-Liberace/dp/B00000HF0J?ie=UTF8&tag=itid04-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank"><span style="color: #687f3f;">SINCERELY YOURS</span></a><u><span style="color: #687f3f;"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=itid04-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=B00000HF0J" height="1" style="border: currentColor; margin: 0px; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" /></span></u></span></strong>. With his moist eyes, congealed smile and mortician's manners, Las Vegas headliner Liberace was doubly miscast here as a talented concert pianist who is also a practicing heterosexual.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5zghY11HAB5C9nqFsyTiQd0lOMmxmWU30E_a-o359FuuckK23pBP4zycXpdHHDtSxtv6kgqPNPPbe-yMZzI73sovv4gJqjt8VnaBIMGgh4xSPxeQ8KsNW70nSRx_X-AGnftYySrkgeXIS/s1600/BM+Sincerely+Yours+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5zghY11HAB5C9nqFsyTiQd0lOMmxmWU30E_a-o359FuuckK23pBP4zycXpdHHDtSxtv6kgqPNPPbe-yMZzI73sovv4gJqjt8VnaBIMGgh4xSPxeQ8KsNW70nSRx_X-AGnftYySrkgeXIS/s1600/BM+Sincerely+Yours+4.jpg" height="224" width="400" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgXf94IADlw-k0GZ7_gQjsK_0-vXJ0MCUKpbn8Rbkdp9Ij2LOaITLKbeXiT94nDVPrO6pjred6n4AYXfddUGX-5ZaE3FMVt-_8fWGXN-4a5x2aU8d9Ua6HyZPWdrTHYcHnOmtJ8jy1fhqX/s1600/BM+Sincerely+Yours+6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgXf94IADlw-k0GZ7_gQjsK_0-vXJ0MCUKpbn8Rbkdp9Ij2LOaITLKbeXiT94nDVPrO6pjred6n4AYXfddUGX-5ZaE3FMVt-_8fWGXN-4a5x2aU8d9Ua6HyZPWdrTHYcHnOmtJ8jy1fhqX/s1600/BM+Sincerely+Yours+6.jpg" height="224" width="400" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiebNqMSQ9RyTkDrHV_o7BT4PvYm93so5eUt1HTmFgbmQN0qaZ5mMmDQ3D-TBF-BWNH9Wg616XbBtxSc7xBbEDsIl4IuzGRzz0RLyM2CK55DelhlQEv8ad5bBqC-kMm-680hACbwCRXHG8t/s1600/BM+Sincerely+Yours+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiebNqMSQ9RyTkDrHV_o7BT4PvYm93so5eUt1HTmFgbmQN0qaZ5mMmDQ3D-TBF-BWNH9Wg616XbBtxSc7xBbEDsIl4IuzGRzz0RLyM2CK55DelhlQEv8ad5bBqC-kMm-680hACbwCRXHG8t/s1600/BM+Sincerely+Yours+2.jpg" height="196" width="400" /></a>Somebody must have realized just how ridiculous this project was, because how else would you account for this scene: when secretary <strong>Joanne Dru</strong> offers up a choice of PR opportunities - "How'd you like to ride an elephant for the circus?" then, "Would you like to be king of the avocado festival?" and finally, "Open a new aquarium?" -- Liberace is miffed at their inappropriateness to someone of his stature and storms into his bathroom, where his roommate and manager, <strong>William Demarest</strong>, is taking a bubble bath and chewing on a very large cigar. As if the tableau alone were not enough, Liberace tosses Demarest a washcloth and says, "Don't forget to wash behind. . . your ears."<br />
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But the real fun begins as gorgeous, rich <strong>Dorothy Malone</strong> understandably mistakes Liberace for a lowly piano teacher and haughtily informs him, "When your family has money, you're supposed to be accomplished. So I learned to paint, to ride, to dance, even to try and play the piano. Some people are born listeners--I'm one of them. But my family won't be convinced until I get a letter from you, saying I should stick to Mediterranean cruises and canasta."<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiACgNHEnPutWE_8JboNQ9PK_d_fsIoyquBdom1xDgSrbRSzzn9crPcfLfSlXm6bmBMQxKSxcQp7m4SkgYtRMWcJVuAkgOzqBACMcKNjD8PGUVPDRqkaV51JW9AzcORazjCyGMXBxb6_DR_/s1600/BM+Sincerely+Yours+7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiACgNHEnPutWE_8JboNQ9PK_d_fsIoyquBdom1xDgSrbRSzzn9crPcfLfSlXm6bmBMQxKSxcQp7m4SkgYtRMWcJVuAkgOzqBACMcKNjD8PGUVPDRqkaV51JW9AzcORazjCyGMXBxb6_DR_/s1600/BM+Sincerely+Yours+7.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a>Just as you're about to grab a pen and paper to take care of this matter yourself, Liberace sneers at Malone, "Where did you practice your scales - reaching for martinis?" Now that these two have expressed their mutual contempt, Liberace proposes marriage: "Did you ever wonder what it would be like spending a lifetime married to a musician?" he queries Malone. Just in case she's been overwhelmed by his charm, he goes on to warn her, "It's not easy competing with a concerto!" But hey, it's not easy competing with 10 percent of the male population either, right?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjLau8kZ53BMiGmJXACY1JdTjgQD6o4I4vN6y68qYkRkN2KYsWfE6Il9yLIQCq87ggWT-WgddBsrkpOrqbaeOHm6kKJm5Ge1CAYxWg24xHRG8cvcDkToX7X21iBIUC8seXtiESO5iWSVQC/s1600/BM+Sincerely+Yours+8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjLau8kZ53BMiGmJXACY1JdTjgQD6o4I4vN6y68qYkRkN2KYsWfE6Il9yLIQCq87ggWT-WgddBsrkpOrqbaeOHm6kKJm5Ge1CAYxWg24xHRG8cvcDkToX7X21iBIUC8seXtiESO5iWSVQC/s1600/BM+Sincerely+Yours+8.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a>Malone is too in love to heed warnings, not even the one she gets at Liberace's concert from serviceman <strong>Alex Nicol</strong>, who utters words any bride-to-be should pay attention to: "He respects the classics, but from a sitting position - not from his knees." Meanwhile, up on stage Liberace is bouncing on his bench, rolling his eyes ecstatically, and smiling in such delirious self-enchantment he appears to be deep inside his own musical remake of <em>What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?.</em> Just when you're thinking you'd rather go deaf than listen to one more note from Liberace, he does. This situation puts an end to his concert career, allowing him to mope around his swanky Manhattan penthouse and, in Lana Turner style, to make many of the 29 costume changes that won this movie it's place in cinema history.<br />
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Dim bulb Malone isn't the first girl to wonder why her fiance hasn't been taking her calls, but she's probably the first to be given this excuse: "He's deaf." Putting on a bright face, Malone insists they should marry anyway, explaining, "I fell in love with a person, not a pianist." Actually, of course, he's neither, but it's a nice thought. His spirits restored, Liberace embarks on a 12-week course in lip-reading that goes by in what feels like real time. It all pays off, though, when we get to see how he applies this new skill. Leaning off his terrace while holding a big pair of binoculars, Liberace scans Central Park some 30 stories below. That's right, he's become a full-time, long-distance lip-reading voyeur.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizqJrTJSaRoo9bz4BaCUi-9VP6b1Eu7WJxHmdGv0PZD4ELdKg2q8-Y-qC3xb_nc6uYwkvc0UEcO0nVXzWcqkm2aASJuhGjLsbUi3Z09IDzOzo_-J7HvYy4WZ7FjfwxjJ4HId-0T2fYlcEr/s1600/BM+Sincerely+Yours+0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizqJrTJSaRoo9bz4BaCUi-9VP6b1Eu7WJxHmdGv0PZD4ELdKg2q8-Y-qC3xb_nc6uYwkvc0UEcO0nVXzWcqkm2aASJuhGjLsbUi3Z09IDzOzo_-J7HvYy4WZ7FjfwxjJ4HId-0T2fYlcEr/s1600/BM+Sincerely+Yours+0.jpg" height="617" width="640" /></a><br />
To get full mileage out of this plot point, Liberace's hearing returns, and he races down to Central Park to eavesdrop in person on the latest twists in the two-hankie saga he's been lip-reading from afar. It seems that young Lori Nelson is pulling a Stella Dallas on her white-trash mother (<strong>Lurene Tuttle</strong>) by telling her she'll never fit in with Nelson's ritzy in-laws. After Nelson leaves, Liberace takes the heartbroken Tuttle in hand and happily buys her just the heels, hats and evening gowns he might have picked out for himself. That night he goes with Tuttle to a charity fund-raiser where all the snooty blue bloods are charmed by Tuttle, particularly when she talks Liberace into performing "The Beer Barrel Polka." Then, as divine punishment for this musical lapse, Liberace is struck deaf all over again.<br />
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A still hearing-challenged Liberace is casually gazing through his binoculars one night when his eyes settle on none other than his beloved Malone with his serviceman pal Alex Nicol in what is certainly a romantic rendezvous. Amazingly enough - since it's pitch-black outside - he reads their lips to learn that Malone is in love with the other man. What will Liberace do? It all ends happily with Liberace so quickly reconciled to life without wedded bliss that he hops up from his piano and tap dances "Tea for Two," which is meant to have you asking, "Is there no end to this man's talent?" You'll more likely be wondering, "Is there no end to this movie?" Well, yes there is, and it happens to have been the end of Liberace's chances at a starring screen career, too. </div>
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-110939146684250452014-10-05T00:59:00.000-04:002014-11-22T11:07:58.583-05:00Douglas Sirk lives on in the deliciously overwrought COLOR OF NIGHT - a 1994 Bruce Willis misfire that had us doubled over with delirium!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTb_6fwJVu_y1FUJ4PT7XVa1PYAgkXs5xw2R2e1KmXrz4cOYCrjsqceZKhe9PV5ha1QcpKvzE2CB6jdgQLUZguSWAk0-nWKx2AXodnovUvO5Zpzix5UV6JEdc_uyG6_xKxq8fxyYXfMEty/s1600/BM+Color+of+Night+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTb_6fwJVu_y1FUJ4PT7XVa1PYAgkXs5xw2R2e1KmXrz4cOYCrjsqceZKhe9PV5ha1QcpKvzE2CB6jdgQLUZguSWAk0-nWKx2AXodnovUvO5Zpzix5UV6JEdc_uyG6_xKxq8fxyYXfMEty/s1600/BM+Color+of+Night+2.jpg" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW1dWZdB-6uEtCzXtLUnovcZbyqWHAZClIvebnCIrahv4jFFNWd5Pg9g3s1enK1WCmY92kMAobfMXzHADGT-zYqzkprWel9z6Y5R5XW-4rwc2o4N1VcV6lWXsA32juKgzZ68Sn7t409QoZ/s1600/BM+Color+of+Night+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW1dWZdB-6uEtCzXtLUnovcZbyqWHAZClIvebnCIrahv4jFFNWd5Pg9g3s1enK1WCmY92kMAobfMXzHADGT-zYqzkprWel9z6Y5R5XW-4rwc2o4N1VcV6lWXsA32juKgzZ68Sn7t409QoZ/s1600/BM+Color+of+Night+1.jpg" height="640" width="449" /></a>Just when you thought they'd never make a mystery thriller as deliriously bad as <em>Midnight Lace</em>, just when you imagined that the gold lame spirit of Douglas Sirk had departed forever, comes director Richard Rush's <strong><span style="color: #cc0000;"></span></strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Color-Night-Bruce-Willis/dp/6305428484?ie=UTF8&tag=itid04-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank"><span style="color: #687f3f;">COLOR OF NIGHT </span></a><u><span style="color: #687f3f;"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=itid04-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=6305428484" height="1" style="border: currentColor; margin: 0px; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" /></span></u>to brighten up your dull evenings. <em>Color of Night</em> isn't just bad: it's bad with raisins in it.</div>
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If you were one of the few who saw <em>Color of Night</em> in a theater, you probably remember the plot, but for those millions and millions who missed this gem, let's recap.</div>
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<strong>Bruce Willis</strong> stars as a psychologist. (Are you laughing too hard or can we go on now?) Willis is having a crisis of conscience/ confidence because one of his patients leaped out of a window after applying lots of lipstick. (We all know, don't we, that applying lots of lipstick is a sure sign of suicidal depression?) Anyway, Willis goes out to L.A. to visit fellow shrink <strong>Scott Bakula</strong>, who takes Willis to his group therapy session so that the fun can start in earnest. Remember "The Bob Newhart Show" from the '70's? His group therapy meetings weren't nearly as funny as these: we have a nympho, an obsessive-compulsive, a split personality, the Professor and Mary Ann -- well, you get the idea. Bakula gets killed in a scene that looks like <em>Psycho</em> directed by Mack Sennett. The sad part is that Bakula is the most talented and attractive member of the whole goddamn cast and 30 minutes into the picture he's been bumped off.<br />
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Willis stays on in Bakula's grandiosely modern home (crammed with screamingly bad art) despite the fact that someone keeps stalking him and leaving snakes in the mailbox. (Are hotels in L.A. that expensive?) It's like the TV movie where that devil doll keeps chasing Karen Black around her apartment going, "Yanni yanni yanni," and it never occurs to her to just leave.Instead of ruining the horribly implausible and helter-skelter plot for you, We'll just point out some of the more outrageous lapses of sanity: a) Willis's patient jumps out of a Manhattan office tower, causing pedestrians to scream and run, whereas real New Yorkers would have lifted her purse; b) Three days after famous psychologist Scott Bakula is killed in an exceedingly colorful way in his midtown office, his patients still don't know about it -- okay, we've already established that there are no reasonably priced hotels in L.A., but surely there must be at least one newspaper or TV station; c) The whole plot hook -- Willis goes color blind after seeing his patient's blood -- goes nowhere. Period. You keep thinking there has to be a reason for it or a plot twist that depends on it -- but nothing ever happens.<br />
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The film is a laugh riot and we don't want to give away all of the jokes. When we saw the film in the theater, the audience laughed all the way through the first sex scene, which took place underwater and was about as erotic as an Esther Williams movie. Oh, yes, we do get to see generous portions of Bruce Willis, though not as much as he'd have liked.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFbh8UrnCMILPXaMv9DDNMrITQDY1mDWDxT8S79neXfT0gDOuGZwDMp2PaVfOfMI8dGF8VxwN2mYXM3s6pnBzq-AlZYIK1TcjMdqnVH_DyYOW0jVQpXJrB5DRLPe8QnAy0RuDOd_f5gyfV/s1600/BM+Color+of+Night+8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFbh8UrnCMILPXaMv9DDNMrITQDY1mDWDxT8S79neXfT0gDOuGZwDMp2PaVfOfMI8dGF8VxwN2mYXM3s6pnBzq-AlZYIK1TcjMdqnVH_DyYOW0jVQpXJrB5DRLPe8QnAy0RuDOd_f5gyfV/s1600/BM+Color+of+Night+8.jpg" height="348" width="640" /></a>Then there's the acting. Even the extras overact. Keep your eyes out for one unbilled woman playing a hooker in a police station. She only has one line, but she gives it such gusto that she will leave you stunned. Even formerly respected actors lose all sense of self-control; <strong>Lesley Ann Warren</strong> (decked out in a Shelley Long wig) twitches and twitters like a road company Billie Burke, and <strong>Ruben Blades</strong> does what appears to be a Jose Jimenez imitation. Willis actually seems like a model of intelligent understatement compared with the rest of the cast, but the truth is, he just wasn't acting at all.<br />
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And then there's <strong>Jane March</strong>. Ever so much of Jane March. Watching her try to match wits with Bruce Willis really makes you appreciate the bang-up job Cybill Shepherd was doing all those years. Jane spends half the movie dressed in disguise as a teenage boy. (How hard is she to spot? She's got teeth like Bucky Beaver! This gal could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence!) It all just gets sillier and sillier until the grand finale, which tried to come off as Hitchcockian but reminded us more of silent film legend Harold Lloyd. Judging by the guffaws from the audience, we weren't alone. So, watch <em>Color of Night</em> if you're feeling down in the mouth. Just don't try to eat popcorn during it -- unless you know the Heimlich maneuver.</div>
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-11374414987734106912014-09-19T02:17:00.000-04:002014-10-13T02:37:58.563-04:00'SHOWGIRLS' IS SO HYSTERICALLY FILTHY, YOU'LL BE LAUGHING ALL THE WAY TO YOUR SHOWER TO REMOVE ITS DELICIOUS RESIDUE. <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf3zbvbmS5C9zc_sXGWN9EFXxoq6eABCFxfz6dYDfCF2vpQknD2UYAZxsQqbR5u9x0cVdgwoFV6oU_qvwKeBT1lt5urkh7s837Kkbcw1kLYzKZ6PgfleN0QXSDkr1K60zBdcm7qmUiqIUt/s1600/BM+ShowGirls+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf3zbvbmS5C9zc_sXGWN9EFXxoq6eABCFxfz6dYDfCF2vpQknD2UYAZxsQqbR5u9x0cVdgwoFV6oU_qvwKeBT1lt5urkh7s837Kkbcw1kLYzKZ6PgfleN0QXSDkr1K60zBdcm7qmUiqIUt/s1600/BM+ShowGirls+3.jpg" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhig6xNNu10wRLfM6mKtE8awD9IvB6__gvevPhsxZQBuLBH8s8DkYjSOQuvoRoBdNRRHy1Jer8bZH2Wdy4QZyKnJofG35jmaiXNBu3fPv6TfxaUj8a-QP6Qf-MjWEB7GFP4NUNZd5SQ-Jzr/s1600/BM+ShowGirls.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhig6xNNu10wRLfM6mKtE8awD9IvB6__gvevPhsxZQBuLBH8s8DkYjSOQuvoRoBdNRRHy1Jer8bZH2Wdy4QZyKnJofG35jmaiXNBu3fPv6TfxaUj8a-QP6Qf-MjWEB7GFP4NUNZd5SQ-Jzr/s640/BM+ShowGirls.jpg" height="640" width="468" /></a>"Instant camp classic," giggled The New York Times about <strong><span style="color: #990000;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Showgirls-Fully-Exposed-Elizabeth-Berkley/dp/B000PMFS2I?ie=UTF8&tag=itid04-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank"><span style="color: #687f3f;">SHOWGIRLS</span></a><u><span style="color: #687f3f;"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=itid04-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=B000PMFS2I" height="1" style="border-image: none; border: currentColor; margin: 0px; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" /></span></u></span>.</strong> And how! It's been well noted that writer Joe Eszterhas lifted the plot of <em><strong>Showgirls</strong></em> from <em>All About Eve</em>, <em>42nd Street</em> and <em>Flashdance</em>. It should also be pointed out that Showgirls owes a major debt to one of my favorite bad movies, <em>Valley of the Dolls</em>. What Eszterhas has done is combine the four femmes from Dolls into just two gals -- with schizo results. <strong>Elizabeth Berkley</strong> behaves like both a nice newcomer seduced by her boss and a self-destructive, psychotic bitch; costar <strong>Gina Gershon</strong> is both a sweet showgirl and a seen-it-all, show-biz monster. Even the stars we hear the filmmakers wanted for the Berkley and Gershon roles, Drew Barrymore and Madonna, couldn't have pulled off playing such split personalities. With two glassy-eyed doorstops in the leads, <em>Showgirls</em> is unadulterated farce from the get-go.<br />
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Our show begins when tough, young hitchhiker Berkley gets a lift from hunky sociopath <strong>Dewey Weber</strong>, who generously drives her to Las Vegas, then steals her suitcase (what does he think is inside?). Down-and-out Berkley moves in with dim-bulb waitress <strong>Gina Ravera</strong>, who remarks, "I haven't gotten laid in six months. My right hand's so tired I can hardly thread a needle!" Soon Berkley's got a gig as a cheesy stripper, but when she gets a look at the Big Time at the hotel Ravera works at, she witnesses a real Vegas show starring Gershon (who, despite the rhinestones glued to her boobs, is indistinguishable from any of the other dancers). A coked-up Gershon turns up at Berkley's strip joint with her hotel boss/lover <strong>Kyle MacLachlan</strong>, and pays Berkley $500 for a nude lap dance, during which Berkley, in a fit of originality, licks her own nipple. Whereupon Gershon encourages Berkley to audition for the hotel show.<br />
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Surveying the line of hopefuls, snide show producer <strong>Alan Rachins</strong> snarls at the first, "What are these, watermelons? This is a stage, babe, not a patch!" Viewing Berkley's nipples, he leers, "I'm erect, why aren't you?" Berkley is hired and proceeds to witness the dog-eat-dog world of showgirls: one chorine growls at seamstress Ravera, "You're gonna see a smilin' snatch if you don't fix this G-string." Well, maybe it's more dog-eat-dog-food: over lunch Gershon tells Berkley, "I've had dog food. I used to love Doggie Chow," and Berkley gushes, "I used to love Doggie Chow, too!" The brief bonding over pet food experiences ends when Gershon plays with Berkley's breasts, cooing, "You are a whore," and Berkley rejects her, sneering, "Bitch!"<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj59Df9XziuxcQDqET1NXBPvS_BU9FtdyuUpcC_CD3AASwDmH58-lmI0x_UlXR4tIJLqKIEnwrKF4QTorSUJoHOsw87uXWnjZDcmuSynHLXD-r19cDETdrpC5xB2NBrXSCQ-3GMWCKnydN6/s1600/BM+ShowGirls+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj59Df9XziuxcQDqET1NXBPvS_BU9FtdyuUpcC_CD3AASwDmH58-lmI0x_UlXR4tIJLqKIEnwrKF4QTorSUJoHOsw87uXWnjZDcmuSynHLXD-r19cDETdrpC5xB2NBrXSCQ-3GMWCKnydN6/s400/BM+ShowGirls+1.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a>Berkley is visited in her new, "classier" digs by her old strip-club pals, one of whom thinks Berkley "looks better than a 10-inch dick," and the other of whom comments, "Must be weird not having anybody come on you." Flush with success, Berkley goes after druggy McLachlan. Naked in his pool, she sits on him and does a whiplash-like imitation of sex which resembles nothing so much as an epileptic fit. (You'll want to add some Tide and throw in your laundry!) Then, having stolen Gershon's guy, she shoves Gershon down a staircase, and that night she takes Gershon's place in the show and becomes a star (although she, like Gershon, blends right into the chorus). Her triumph is spoiled when pal Ravera is gang-raped by a rock star and his friends. Suddenly, <em>Showgirls</em> veers off into <em>Cleopatra Jones</em>/<em>Coffy</em> territory, with Berkley becoming a martial-arts super-heroine -- Ninja Showgirl? -- who kicks the rocker senseless. After French-kissing Gershon farewell, an older, wiser Berkley blows town, hitching a ride with, yep, luggage thief Weber. The duo heads for L.A.--to work, we hope, for Zalman King in a sexy cable TV series lifted from their roles here: each week, a little lap-dancing, a little crime-fighting. (Well... I'd lap it up).</div>
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-87938146405969853952014-09-04T23:10:00.000-04:002014-09-07T16:35:05.381-04:00DELICIOUS bids a sad farewell to a very funny lady - Joan Rivers (1933 - 2014)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: #cfe2f3; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"><em>“When I die (and yes, Melissa, that day will come; and yes, Melissa, everything’s in your name), I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action…I want Craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the way. I don’t want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents. I don’t want a eulogy; I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing ‘Mr. Lonely.’ I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive. I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag. And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair will be blowing just like Beyoncé's."</em></span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"> ~ Joan Rivers, from her 2012 book, <em>I Hate Everyone... Starting With Me</em></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ffe599; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong>Joan Rivers remembered at star-studded funeral</strong></span><br />
KAREN MATTHEWS, AP, Sun Sep 7, 5:25 PM UTC<br />
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NEW YORK (AP) — <strong>Howard Stern</strong> delivered the eulogy, Broadway singer-actress <strong>
Audra McDonald</strong> sang "Smile" and bagpipers played "New York, New York" at Joan
Rivers' funeral Sunday, a star-studded send-off that — like late comedian
herself — brought together the worlds of Hollywood, theater, fashion and
media.<br />
<br />
At a funeral befitting a superstar, the New York City <strong>Gay Men's Chorus</strong> sang
Broadway hits including "Hey Big Spender" before six-time Tony Award-winner
McDonald sang her tribute to Rivers, a champion of theater for decades.<br />
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Tributes and reminiscences were delivered by TV anchor <strong>Deborah Norville</strong>,
close friend <strong>Margie Stern</strong>, columnist <strong>Cindy Adams</strong> and Rivers' daughter, Melissa,
who spoke about how she respected her mother and appreciated everyone's
support.<br />
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"It was uplifting. We were celebrating her life," said fashion designer <strong>
Dennis Basso</strong>.<br />
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<strong>Hugh Jackman</strong> sang "Quiet Please, There's A Lady On Stage" at the end of the
ceremony and bagpipers from the New York City Police Department played on the
streets as mourners filed out of Temple Emanu-El, many dabbing their eyes.<br />
<br />
The funeral program included a page with three classic Rivers' lines printed
out: "Can we talk?" ''Who are you wearing?" and "Because I'm a funny
person."<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5UyF3QVlazW6vDnVdAa_HNs0QU8IRseiuV87zCWLjojjH3uazbJjpLdYSllXMT2WL9MpiXYCcnxyY5i9o6LCPmhXKYmpruv-OeGKDOMR3Mpt2srKMOU4OEp4TZaJyqCiQp4eFjvIQWvsh/s1600/Joan+Rivers+headshot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5UyF3QVlazW6vDnVdAa_HNs0QU8IRseiuV87zCWLjojjH3uazbJjpLdYSllXMT2WL9MpiXYCcnxyY5i9o6LCPmhXKYmpruv-OeGKDOMR3Mpt2srKMOU4OEp4TZaJyqCiQp4eFjvIQWvsh/s1600/Joan+Rivers+headshot.jpg" height="640" width="468" /></a>A legion of notables turned out to remember Rivers, who died Thursday at 81:
comedians <strong>Kathy Griffin</strong>, <strong>Rosie O'Donnell</strong> and <strong>Whoopi Goldberg</strong>; colleague and
friend <strong>Kelly Osbourne</strong>; <strong>Sarah Jessica Parker</strong> and <strong>Matthew Broderick</strong>; and celebrity <strong>
doctor Mehmet Oz</strong>.<br />
<br />
Theater stars <strong>Bernadette Peters</strong>, <strong>Alan Cumming</strong> and <strong>Tommy Tune</strong> were there.
Record producer <strong>Clive Davis</strong> was, too. Fashion designers <strong>Carolina Herrera</strong> and <strong>
Michael Kors</strong> were in attendance. Stars from TV such as <strong>Barbara Walters</strong>, <strong>Geraldo
Rivera</strong>, <strong>Diane Sawyer</strong>, <strong>Kathie Lee</strong>, <strong>Hoda Kotb</strong> and <strong>Andy Cohen</strong>. Late night band
leader <strong>Paul Shaffer</strong>. And moguls <strong>Barry Diller</strong>, <strong>Donald Trump</strong> and <strong>Steve Forbes</strong>.<br />
<br />
Mourners had lined up outside the Fifth Avenue synagogue and waited for their
names to be checked against a list before entering. A crowd of media stood watch
across the street, and fans from as far away as Australia and England lined the
streets.<br />
<br />
Actress <strong>Susan Claassen</strong>, who met Rivers in London in 2008 when both had
one-woman shows, came from Tucson, Arizona, to honor her friend. "I always like
to say that in a world of knockoffs, Joan was an original," she said.<br />
<br />
The comedian detailed in her 2012 book "I Hate Everyone ... Starting With Me"
that she hoped for "a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action" and
"Hollywood all the way." Instead of a rabbi talking, Rivers asked for "Meryl
Streep crying, in five different accents" and "a wind machine so that even in
the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyonce's." Indeed, her wishes were so
important they were printed in the funeral program.<br />
<br />
Rivers was a trailblazer for all comics, but especially for women. The
raspy-voiced blonde with the brash New York accent was a TV talk show host,
stage, film and TV actress, fashion critic, and she sold a line of jewelry.<br />
<br />
The cause of death is being investigated. Rivers was hospitalized on Aug. 28
after she went into cardiac arrest during a routine procedure at a doctor's
office. The New York state health department is investigating the circumstances,
and the New York City medical examiner said tests to determine the cause of
death were inconclusive.<br />
<br />
Her publicist said that in lieu of flowers, donations can be made to God's
Love, We Deliver; Guide Dogs for the Blind; or Our House.<br />
<br />
———<br />
Associated Press writer Alicia Rancilio contributed to this report. </div>
Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-66564096699521017442014-08-23T21:11:00.000-04:002014-08-27T13:44:20.642-04:00In her delicious screen debut - THE CRUSH - flash-in-the-pan Alicia Silverstone proves that as an actress she was always 'Clueless.' <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1TOwPntlqzMB7wHAqxJ5uldTlC-54GMMJkLrFjWqgzZDVRroRBTeSSf3s8qrXT6zOsnUsp_2X5vAWDHEHE-iUu8XWs400TO1WMouxEFhM-Aaiz3G7OC2ZQv1GhgPKPjBT0ujkHoHxScxX/s1600/The+Crush+film+0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1TOwPntlqzMB7wHAqxJ5uldTlC-54GMMJkLrFjWqgzZDVRroRBTeSSf3s8qrXT6zOsnUsp_2X5vAWDHEHE-iUu8XWs400TO1WMouxEFhM-Aaiz3G7OC2ZQv1GhgPKPjBT0ujkHoHxScxX/s400/The+Crush+film+0.jpg" height="400" width="268" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxqE3zpW1iv0htsXNLdeWQuDjZtX8ylcn_u5q10EFIfkETVfYpN437m_wNdTBhrR7Y3vFPR5G7YWeBDClHkcHnQ5_4g4lAzY-ZGiqHlLhSN82dv9QFiS5X45gwurFjJJZ4Kr7inGX8AeJe/s1600/The+Crush+film+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxqE3zpW1iv0htsXNLdeWQuDjZtX8ylcn_u5q10EFIfkETVfYpN437m_wNdTBhrR7Y3vFPR5G7YWeBDClHkcHnQ5_4g4lAzY-ZGiqHlLhSN82dv9QFiS5X45gwurFjJJZ4Kr7inGX8AeJe/s640/The+Crush+film+1.jpg" height="424" width="640" /></a><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Crush-Cary-Elwes/dp/B00004RF85?ie=UTF8&tag=itid04-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank"><span style="color: #687f3f;">The Crush</span></a><u><span style="color: #687f3f;"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=itid04-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=B00004RF85" height="1" style="border-image: none; border: currentColor; margin: 0px; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" /></span></u> a 1993 gigglefest about a teen psycho-nymphet who makes life a living hell for the twice-her-age writer who's renting out her parents' guest house, is a fabulous Bad Movie gem. <strong>Alicia Silverstone</strong> plays this Lolita-ish minx -- think Poison Ivy in a Wonderbra -- who one second is displaying herself nude to renter <strong>Cary Elwes</strong> and the next is trying to murder his photographer girlfriend, <strong>Jennifer Rubin</strong>, by shoving swarms of buzzing wasps into a darkroom's ventilation system. We'd guess that Silverstone, who rapidly exhausts her repertoire of three expressions (coy, steamy, wacko), honed her acting licks studying the oeuvre of Cybill Shepherd. When she chirps lines at Rubin like, "Don"t worry, Amy, some guys really like girls with small breasts," we can only hope for Silverstone's sake that some guys like girls with teensy talent. And we'd guess that Elwes, who rapidly exhausts his repertoire of one expression (self-enchanted), honed his acting licks by studying the oeuvre of Ryan O'Neal. Just like O'Neal in <em>What's Up, Doc?</em> -- but that movie was intended as a comedy -- Elwes hopes to pass himself off as an intellectual by donning specs. Indeed, when Silverstone finds him chomping on a cigar while writing, he explains, preposterously, "Helps me think."</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEcKsaflkPd60QFOXNMLBu7oPJIOWndPJarUBFI6bcBg27UxQ89PTyO0YcGGhSSx-QGnBOVDGpYR-JKMnP0kCIrVrGQW3SyOj1AcDHNYot_jKuMlgmypg51CzWd7NPN1VVe9vGWT7lVSGn/s1600/The+Crush+film+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEcKsaflkPd60QFOXNMLBu7oPJIOWndPJarUBFI6bcBg27UxQ89PTyO0YcGGhSSx-QGnBOVDGpYR-JKMnP0kCIrVrGQW3SyOj1AcDHNYot_jKuMlgmypg51CzWd7NPN1VVe9vGWT7lVSGn/s640/The+Crush+film+4.jpg" /></a>But it's in its crackpot plotting and kamikaze ripoffs of other moviemakers that <strong><em>The Crush</em></strong> attains Bad Movie nirvana. When Elwes can't hack a Pique magazine assignment about a Michael Milkenesque arbitrager, 14-year-old Silverstone secretly rewrites his story so brilliantly that it becomes a career-maker for him. Later, explaining her actions, Silverstone -- who sounds to us like she's learned every word of her dialogue phonetically--says, "Your split infinitives put such stress on the adverbs."<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5wxTeDJKVJzNHoWyTTVuE-0grE4zwk-ldNRoFxeI9okLsKiisFLCNfwfXnAb9nqZW3DRAJMPXdHzzF7rxKjbCxO2eCliaS0PTRy6xiIbel3-abo6DVjdJuHP2S_aVFcOuqeuabNqFHiPI/s1600/The+Crush+film+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5wxTeDJKVJzNHoWyTTVuE-0grE4zwk-ldNRoFxeI9okLsKiisFLCNfwfXnAb9nqZW3DRAJMPXdHzzF7rxKjbCxO2eCliaS0PTRy6xiIbel3-abo6DVjdJuHP2S_aVFcOuqeuabNqFHiPI/s640/The+Crush+film+3.jpg" height="363" width="640" /></a>For plot reasons, Elwes's character just up and becomes stupid, which the actor does manage to convey. Long after Silverstone has etched "c-cksucker" onto the hood of his car, made a room into a candle-lit shrine to him and phoned him to say, "Guess what? Got my period. Definitely not pregnant," you'll be screaming aloud, "Ever think of moving, Cary?" Of course, if he did, we wouldn't get to savor such prize moments as Silverstone cooing, "Ever do a virgin?" Or the scene in which the heroine's rich daddy, wielding a pair of pliers, tells Elwes what he plans to do to the horny guys his little girl will soon attract: "Some friggin' kid'll be standin' there with his hard-on stickin' out of his pants," he says. "Hope I don't go breakin' it off!" By the time Silverstone gets around to the most implausible plot twist of all--she accuses Elwes of raping her and people actually believe her -- you'll be breaking in half with hilarity.<br />
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With two stars incapable of having a crush on anyone but their mirrors, we're afraid that writer-director Alan Shapiro's crush on Alfred Hitchcock is the only crush on display: Silverstone freaks out in full riding gear, like Tippi Hedren in <em>Marnie</em>; when Rubin fights off those wasps, it's shot like the finale of <em>The Birds</em>; then, falling, she grabs a curtain, like Janet Leigh in the <em>Psycho </em>shower. In the absurd climax, Elwes fights for his life on a twirling carousel straight out of <em>Strangers on a Train</em>, only this one's in an attic (don't ask).</div>
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Our favorite moment, though, is an original. Elwes, disturbed from his sleep by chopping noises and angry screams, investigates to find a sweaty, crazily wide-eyed Silverstone hacking away at lemons. He asks what she's doing and she hisses, "Making lemonade. Want some?"<br />
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Take it from your Auntie Helen, when you're ready for a long cool drink of laughter, catch <em><strong>The Crush</strong>.</em></div>
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245131279433016632.post-63928294593149850682014-08-20T14:23:00.000-04:002014-08-20T18:22:18.636-04:00ABC's new fall series GALAVANT is coming soon - Here's a link to a delicious video preview from Playbill<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It has been called (by some people) a cross between Mel Brooks' ROBIN HOOD: MEN IN TIGHTS and Fox's GLEE. (Oh dear, God, let's hope not!) We are crossing our fingers and praying for humor more subtle with a slight nod to Monty Python (THE PRINCESS BRIDE perhaps) and of course the usual fine musical work from Alan (<em>The Little Mermaid, Little Shop of Horrors, Beauty and the Beast</em>) Menken. With all of that in mind - here is a link to ABC's extended video preview of the upcoming fall series GALAVANT: <br />
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<a a11yfocused="true" aria-haspopup="true" class="Object" href="http://www.playbill.com/news/article/194709-Galavant-TV-Fairytale-Series-with-Songs-by-Alan-Menken-Releases-Extended-Preview-Video" id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT603_com_zimbra_url" tabindex="0" target="_blank">http://www.playbill.com/news/article/194709-Galavant-TV-Fairytale-Series-with-Songs-by-Alan-Menken-Releases-Extended-Preview-Video</a><br />
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Helen van Rensselaerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06034719532411758816noreply@blogger.com0